Not listening...again

I don't know about you, but I have a huge problem with people who just don't listen to me. I know I don't always like to listen to people either. I know I said 'I'll do it... today' and I guess I completly forgot about how hard that really is. And my conclusion? I can't do it myself. I need help, bad. I'm still learning when to shut it and what not to say. It's not that I'm trying to be mean to people, I'm not exactly quite sure what it is.

Maybe me feeling like I'm not being heard, is because I, sometimes, completly dismiss what the other person is saying to me in the assumption that what they are saying has nothing to pertain to me. I, honestly, like to think I know what's best for me and God doesn't. But, what I think is 'best' for me, is going to leave me hurt and wondering why. I'm proved wrong and God does know and I don't. I'm not the 'best' listener there is and I'd have to say the best listener there is and ever will be, is Jesus.

I'm trying to forgive, love, and share Jesus with others more often than I do.

I really don't know what else to say, except I really do need to do it today. Maybe we say 'I'll do it...tomorrow' because we assume that we have "enough" on our 'agenda' for one day. Maybe we're looking at it through dirty glasses and waste soo much of our time doing pointless crap that won't live past this day.

I've learned that by saying 'I'll do it...tomorrow' I hardly ever get done with what I planned for the next day.

So I will try to shut up and listen, I mean really really truly be in tuned with what the other person is saying.

It'll be hard, but if I, as I say I do, really truly want people to listen to me, I should listen to them.

wow

Today in Self Development, Mrs. Hiatt gave us all note cards and told us NOT to write our names on it and to put If You Really Knew Me..you'd know that I.. and when she read them aloud, I was shocked a little. What I truly have not understood is how in the world do these teenagers get through all of this without Jesus...I just don't get it. It has to be alot harder without Jesus. These teens have went through parents divorce, thoughts of suicide, abusive fathers...etc. I was hurting for my generation. My generation NEEDS Jesus!!

Being one of the new kids at my high school I have some what made "friends"... I need to share Jesus with these people. Like what Matt said to me the other day about we never know that this day could very well be our last day. Some one could die and go to hell because I didn't share Jesus with them. It's a scary thought, but, sadly true. I mean what if it really was my last shot to share Jesus with them...and what if that conversation changed their eternal destiny?

We Have So Much. They Have So Little.

Along time ago, I got an e-mail from someone and in it were pictures of children with shoes like this...



While I was looking at the e-mail, I was glad the kid had a pair of shoes. But, what really got to me, is that these aren't shoes! They're water bottles! And I got to really thinking, that we, as people who live in th united states take way to much for granted. It's not hard to see that this world is greatly imbalanced. We are far to great of a country to not help these people. The Bible is dead on right when it says it is more blessed to give than to recieve. (Acts 20:35)

Day to day, week to week, I take things and especially people in my life for granted. Like my blog post a few days ago title 'I'll Do It..Tomorrow', I really need to work on not taking people for granted. I never know that when they walk out that door and I never see them again. They could get hit by some stupid driver who could care less about what they are doing.

I just found a picture on google of a young boy who looked like a teenager or pre-teen in search of food. I couldn't post it because this thing wouldn't let me. But, we take so much for granted. Like shoes, socks, bed, house, car, technology, cell phones, friends, family, pants, shirts, jewelry. It's too easy to take things for granted these days.

a challenge for not just you, but for me also. Treat people better, treat things better, cherish more moments. Starting, now.

I'll do it...TODAY!

I'll end this with a video from Hillsong United that I found on youtube:

NEW school prayer written by a teenager from Ohio

Since the Pledge of Allegiance & The Lords Prayer are not allowed in achools anymore, because the word ‘God’ is mentioned… A teen in Ohio wrote this….

NEW School prayer:

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God’s name is prohibited by the state.

We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks..
They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King.
It’s ‘inappropriate’ to teach right from wrong,
We’re taught that such ‘judgments’ do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen

I'll Do It...Tomorrow

How many times a day do you say something along the lines of 'I'll do it...tomorrow'? I'm guilty, I say that alot and I know you are too.

I use some examples that people use alot:
1. I'll treat them better...tomorrow
2. I'll say I'm sorry...tomorrow
3. I'll forgive...tomorrow
4. I'll read it...tomorrow
5. I'll accept Jesus...tomorrow
6. I'll say 'I love you' and I'll mean it...tomorrow
7. I'll share Jesus with her...tomorrow

You should get the point by now. I'm going to be completly honest with all of you, I'm guilty of all of them. There is no such thing as a tomorrow.

I wasn't planning on writing any of this, but a huge thanks goes to my friend, Matt. He said something that hit a home run on my heart.
He said:

'I just realized something. This could be the last time that I ever talk with you. Jesus could come back at any moment, there is no way of telling. And we don't know when, it could be a few minutes, a day or a year, I don't know.'

And you know, Matt is completly right. We don't know when Jesus will come back. We don't if it could be our last time to see our families, our friends our peers, our co-workers...etc. I'm really guilty when I typed the seventh one... I say that too much. What he said was an 'eye-opening' statement. I take life and the people in my life for granted too much. Of course I know life here on earth can and will end for everyone... I need to take it alot more serious than I do.

What he said was convicting because I don't always treat people the way they should be treated. I disrespect my parent(s)/grandparents, I haven't (and I know you haven't either, don't lie) quite learned when to shut up. Honestly, things should not be this way. There is something/someone, the key piece to lifes' puzzle is missing. I think it's Jesus.

I know I need to treat people better than I do and I know you do too. Everyone (whether you want to openly admit it or not) is still learning when to shut it. I have got to stop saying 'I'll do it...tomorrow' and start saying 'I'll do it...today' Because, as I said before, there really is no tomorrow. We are not promised our next breath. Our lives are here and then they're gone. Like a vapor in the wind.

We tell ourselves and others, 'Don't take life for granted, you never know when it'll be gone.' And far too often that's all we do. The way we live, act, talk and treat people, we should be ashamed! And then we turn right around and say 'don't take life for granted...' We live as if life has no end on earth. Although, we are all well aware that it will end for everyone...there is no exception to that one.

Just even intensly deeply thinking and pondering about what Matt said, kind of freaks me out. Matt is my best guy friend and he managed to hit a home run with that statement.

If I've treated any of you badly in my 15 years of life, I'm really sorry. I do love you although I don't show it when I most likly should. I'm sorry what ever I did that hurt you in any way shape or form. Will you forgive me? Can we start over, somehow someway?

I'll love you and treat you better from now on..well, atleast I will try. It will take time so bare with me and help me out on this one.



I'll do it...today!

Ending this blog with the song One Life To Love by 33Miles from Youtube:

Untitled

Do you ever have those days where you feel like no one knows you exist? Have you ever thought that maybe you are making yourself go unnoticed? Like you're not doing anything to get noticed because you feel too hurt to bring yourself back to being noticed. Jesus notices you. He thinks about you each day. He knows what you are going through, he knows how you feel. He knows. It's hard for us to grasp the concept that God does care and He is calling you by name and telling you its alright. He will never leave you nor forsake you. No matter what you do. He loves you.

He wants you to love him too. With Christ in our lives, what can we not do? It's great to know him personally and spend time in his word and in His prescene. So comforting. It's also comforting to know that when we call on his name, he rushes in to us. I remember, two months ago, I had the worst day ever, I woke up and felt extremely broken and empty. I didn't go to school that day, too down to concentrate on anything except for the fact that I had a vast emptiness and I knew that only God could make me feel better. I recall falling to my knees, and screaming out "God!" I had tears running down my face. I felt something inside of me, I dont what it was, I remember having this feeling inside of me that had to have been from God. That feeling said 'I'm here' I still had the tears, I remember saying God over and over. And then I heard these exact words, "Get up, My Child" four words had so much comfort to them. I'm so glad they came from God. I love him to bits! He made me a new creation through Christ. I don't care what people say or do to me, I will not loose my faith. People have and will continue to be mean towards Christians. We were warned by Jesus that the world will hate us, but we must remember that it hated Jesus first.You're probably wondering what inspired to me to write this. Well, earlier today, my grandma was messing with my hair without asking. she did this twice.

made me so mad at her. she didnt understand why i hate people touching my hair without asking. It also upset me too. And when I got in my grandpas' pt, he didnt understand either.... he said get over it. thats easier said than done. I gave up on the topic, and refused to say anything. I felt unnoticed. I dont know how to explain it. I cant let satan have anything of mine. I must not loose faith or anything else required to complete this madness of life... I can't wait to see Jesus face to face. I want to leave this world when ever he calls me home. (: I love my Jesus! I never thought that I, out of all people, would say those words

......It Was Amazing......

It was amazing that I wasn't rejected this time by my Dad! On Friday night April something, I wrote a three page letter to my dad...it was completly filled with Jesus... none of it was the 'you message' people tend to give. I said how Jesus changes lives. I mentioned how Jesus changed my life in October last year. (read my testimony on 1m4jc.com or on here)

I gave an example using the parachute story relating to how we are,well, basically doomed without Christ. Parachute example: Say a guy, was on a plane and someone told him that he needed the parachute. No one cared to explain exactly why he needed the parachute. He wasn't told how far he was off the ground either. When you tell him he needs the parachute, we, tend to just tell people what they need and think we covered all of that which needs to be covered. We think that people should be smart enough to figure out why in the world they would need the parachute..but some people are just, well, not. This guy was getting mocked and laughed at and people where throwing things at him. So, he decides to take the parachute off, and jumps out of the plane. Not a very smart guy. I know you know how he died...Another guy that was on the plane, He, also was told he needed the parachute. This time someone told him in complete detail what will happen to him if he takes it before he has to jump. Lets say he was twenty five thousand feet in the air... He, also, was being mocked and laughed at and no matter what people did or said to him, he would not take that parachute off. He trusted it, and without it, he was going to die. No one wants to die, that is our God given right to live. Now, think about how that relates to Christianity and how we get mocked and laughed at for believing in something we can't even see. But, "Faith is being sure of what we hope for, it is being certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1)

I also gave a list of songs that I knew would help him, if he chooses to listen to them. I think the song Hold On-33 Miles and Hold Fast-MercyMe where on there... that wasn't apart of my letter. it was on a different sheet of paper. As soon as I got there and saw him, satan went to work... he placed the thought of rejection and fear into my mind. I thought, I didn't come this far to walk away now. I said, quietly, "God! Help Me!" he did. You wanna know why, BECAUSE I DID NOT GET REJECTED!!!! Before I gave my dad the box, I couldn't speak... I had tears starting to build... so, i had to walk away. I knew I couldn't leave just yet. I hugged him three times. He has my cell number now, I don't have his yet. Before today, I haven't seen him since like august last year. But, I saw him April 15th, 2009!!! I'll get his number eventually... (: I refuse to give up.

With Christ in my life,what can I not do?'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.' (Philippians 4:13) I put my Bible in the box too..I had ALOT of things high lighted already. :)

I Am Yours

written June 11,2009
Who Am I-Casting Crowns

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.
Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Tonight, at church when people went to the alter they played the song Who Am I by Casting Crowns. God gave me the reminder that I often need whether I know it or not, that I am His. Oh, how often we need that reminder! It made me cry when I heard that song. I absolutly love that song along with 5000 other really good Christian songs. But, that's not my point here. My point is, is that we are Gods...and we need that reminder daily, hourly maybe minutely.... I was somewhat kidding about the minutely!! Well, I haven't told anyone about my parents and the divorce and that it hurts. alot. I know there is nothing I can do about the fact that my parents are officialy divorced. They have been divorced for a month and two days. And it hasn't gotten any easier. It sucks. I may have been fatherless as a child. But, here's something I love; "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling" -Psalm 68:5A father to the fatherless is simply amazing. If I never knew Jesus, I would be searching for this Jesus and failing at every turn I'd take. I honestly could not tell you where I'd be if I didn't know Jesus because honestly, I don't want to know, ever. I can tell you where I was and that I'm not there anymore because I found this Jesus in Branson, Missouri at a youth convention in October of '08. I could not tell you what I felt but I can tell you who I felt more than ever, that "who" is JESUS! I remember it like it was yesterday. I know where I was standing and what song Hillsong United was playing. The song was From The Inside Out. Jesus changed me from the inside out. And it shows!!!It doesn't matter what I go through, how I see the circumstances is all about a choice. I can stay here and tell you over and over again how much it sucks that my parents are not together anymore and I can tell you alot of things you probably don't care about...but, I'm not going to. I will say this, and it's a quote, "I can not say I believe. I know! I have been gripped by something far stronger than myself. --something people call God."Here's my question to you;Do you know Jesus? Even if you were the only person on earth, Jesus would have still gone to the cross for you. That's how much He loves YOU. I don't know about you, but 'I love you' could never have been said a better way. On that cross He gave all He had for YOU. You must be pretty dang special! In fact you are special and you are loved and there is hope for you still. It's pretty Good News...in fact, the Gospel means Good News..because it is good news. Its actually great news. Think about it.God loves you. The God of the universe loves YOU. It's crazy love! Go to www.crazylovebook.com and click on videos and then click on 'Just Stop and Think' that video was a tear jerker for me!! I recommend getting the Crazy Love book...It should be at wal-mart or the nearest Christian book store.

Jesus Loves YOU...amazing? pretty much [:

Jeremiah 29:11,
Katelyn Marissa

My Best Friend

I was (and still am) spending time with my first bestest friend in the entire universe. His name is Jesus. Well, I went to the bathroom and I come back in my room and the song "Word of God Speak" I got to thinking that I play christian music alot... Sometimes I just 'hear' it as a background noise but I don't listen to what the song is really saying. I guess when I said the way I write (most of my writings are still on http://katelynmarissa.webs.com And i havent moved them yet.) makes me pay attention to the lyrics, i lied...well, the way I write kinda forces me to listen to the lyrics. I listen to the lyrics the first time and then don't really pay that much of anything to it. I don't know why that song that was playing made me think and cry a little, but it did. Im glad it did. I love Jesus Anyways, pray I get more than enough sleep tonight. I have to get up at 6:30 a.m school starts at 7:25 its crazy! So, night night to whoever is reading this.Pray that I will spend more time with Jesus. I pray that you will too, spend time with him. He's the best ever.Romans 11:1,Katelyn marissaP.S I was actually was trying to send this at like 2 a.m-ish but it didn't show, so I had to send it from my cell again.