What Comes After High School?

Almost all of my friends know that after high school, I want to move to Colorado and go to Colorado Christian University and then, at some point, work in youth ministry. Why? Because I believe God can raise up a generation of teenagers who aren’t just radicals, but rebelutionaries… A generation of teenagers who go all out and do hard things for the glory of God. Teens do have a very high potential. We need people (adults) who believe in us and who “push” us to go all out for God. The only thing that scares me is leaving Ma here in Kansas City alone. See, my parents got a divorce. (It became official, by law, May 8th, 2009) My dad lives somewhere in Kansas. Of course, my mom is always free to visit me there… what kind of a daughter would I be to deny her mother visitation rights!? I know, I don’t want to leave her here… alone that is.

Maybe I should ‘hook’ her up? Ugh, that sounded just as weird out loud as it did in my head… There’s something else that scares me a little… well, a lot. Not for me though… but for the other teenagers at my high school. See, somewhere close to the beginning of the school year, another teen made a threat to shoot the school up… my principle said it’s not a credible threat. Do I believe him? I want to. But, when it comes right down to it, no, I really don’t believe him. (I feel bad for saying that because he’s a nice guy..but, I believe that showing others love and compassion and kindness seems to be the only one that’ll prevent violence.) I want to so bad though!! But, I’m starting to feel that like if I do, do that, then I’d be dismissing the teens real need. They need to feel loved. They need to feel like they’re being heard… they need to, when they’re the one sitting alone during lunch, have someone come over there and actually have a real conversation with them. They need Jesus… who will put their popularity, friends, and reputation on the line and get up and go share the greatest message of all time with them? Will you?

Of course when you say ‘yes’ to Jesus, satan will attack… why? He wants to distract you and get you to think things like ‘I have till the end of the school year to share Jesus with them.’ Or ‘they’re gonna hate me… they’ll think I’m some religious nut and ignore me.. or get mad at me.’ Or ‘I won’t know what to say if they ask a hard question..’ etc. If you’ve said ‘Yes’ to Jesus… go in His power. Not yours!!!! Ask Him for the wisdom… he said he’ll give it to you when you ask him for it. Let Him speak through you. It’s going to be worth it all. He loves you and He loves them… and that’ll NEVER change.

Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. Well, back to the threat thing… even though this one isn’t credible, what about the other like 1,000 something teenagers? What about them? I don’t like to think like this, but, they could one day just bring a gun to school. I hate thinking like that… I wish I wouldn’t. It’s quite negative. But, I’m not one to completely dismiss the possibility… It makes me cry though. I don’t want to think about people dying without Jesus and ending up in Hell… an eternal separation from a God who loves them so much that he sent his only son to die for them… If it does happen, (pray it never does!!!) and if I die in it (I know, it’s a sad thought and I don’t want to make you think like that…) know that I’d be heaven wishing you all were there with me.

(Mark Harris – I Wish You Were Here) Revelation 21:4 says, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” If I do die in it, if it ever happens, this song better be played at my funeral along with He Is With You by Mandisa. I know this is a sad blog post, but, I needed to write it or I’d lose my mind from not venting the way I feel. It’s clearly obvious that I am quite concerned about other teenagers dying without having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I know this started out with the plans of what I want to do after high school and then it switched tones… I didn’t really plan on writing about the threat, but I did. I’m not going to let it go either… us Christian teens need to kick into gear and start being like Jesus with skin on to the other students there on our campuses… high school, middle school and even elementary.

In everything we do, do it to please God not man… who gives a rep about it if you lose some friends because you loved them enough to go out and share Jesus with them? Who cares if you lose your ‘popularity’? Who cares if you lose your “cool”? The thing is, if you truly love them and don’t want to see them go to hell, you’d get on top of a mountain and shout it out. Shout it out that Jesus loves them more they can even fathom, shout it out that they can finally have the assurance to know that when they die, they’ll go to heaven. Shout it out that someone cares about them…. And he knows exactly how they feel and he’ll never leave nor forsake them. He is always there. He loves when we don’t love back. He is. He was. He always be!! For me, it doesn’t matter what happens, good or bad, I will still serve Christ!! Even if something bad happens, I will still serve him and still do what he has called me to do. It’s not the ‘well. I’ll serve him only if he does this or that for me…’ its not like that. It’s EVEN IF not ONLY IF!! Hold on to Jesus. Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you!! p.s. before I ever came to this high school, I made a commitment.

A commitment to love these teens whom I’ve never met before, and to accept them for who they are and not judge them, and to share Jesus with them… no matter what!! I’m so grateful I made this commitment. It’s made a good sophomore year for me.

“The thief has come to steal, kill and destroy, but Jesus has come so that you may have life and life to the fullest.” John 10:10

Colossians 4:5-6 “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

While I'm Waiting

Oh my gooddnesss!!! I am almost at a complete loss for words!!! and that is a good thing.. I think. :)

Most of you know what has happened to me... with the whole campus ministry thing and how un-supportive my family is. (there are VERY few that actually do support me) I really wish i could say they're supportive, but in doing that, I'd be lying. I do, at times, wish things were different.

But, lets not talk how about how much I want things to be different. and lets talk about how much I love things the way they are.

I'm speechless from all the suppport I've gotten already. It is overwhelming!! But I love it!! it is very much needed and very very very very very appreciated.

I do have the times when I do want to completly give up because it seems to be way too hard for me. Do I? No. Have I? No. Will I? Nopers :)

I love Jesus and I will not give up for nothing. Even if things happen that seem like they could just rip everything to shreds, I'll still serve Christ.

Makes me think of the song While I'm Waiting by John Waller... ;




I love all of you xD


Visit Hope Rising

It's 2010!

Finally, 2009 is over! Not that I didn't enjoy parts of that year... 2009, in and of itself was a challenge... I'm glad '09 is over though. 2010 will have it's challenges. Not sure what though, but, I do know that if I knew what they are, I'd back down... But, I'm not like that. Just not that type of person who just up and quits.



I did not come this far to stop now. I'll stop when God says to stop. Because, well, after all, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Phillippians 1:6

2009 was a very much needed year. although, I hated one part. May 8th. (parents divorced...officially)... well, I see that God used that to show me that He is my Daddy! (I do love my 'earthly' dad ;) )

Psalm 68:5
"Father to the fatherless..."

Psalm 27:10
"Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will recieve me."

I feel like my parents have forsaken me... Mom more than dad. Even though I live with my mom, she's pretty irritating... I mean, she doesn't get it!!! She should be supporting me with the Campus Ministry... but she isn't. When I told her that someone made a threat (it's not a credible one.. thank God.) to shoot up my high school and she says she cares...but, from her response, I got the opposite message. she said, with a very obvious amount of sarcasism, "oh.. That's cool." And she wonders why I get ticked off at her... Think about it if you need to.

Dad, well, he was pretty much "absent" from my whole childhood... I mean, from what he's been through when he was a kid, he really doesn't know how to be there. I'm NOT mad at him either. It's his dad that I blame for this. That's who I'm kinda mad at. There's really no point in being mad, I'm wasting emotion on something that I have no power over to change. I can't change anyones past. I love my dad. He's the one who'd get it if I were to tell him about the threat. and he'd actually care... show it and say it. Even though, he doesn't know "how" to be there, when he does try, he does just fine and I love him for it. I hope he reads this one day.

Oh, sorry Ma but uh, your little girl, is STILL a daddas girl. Handle that!

alright, so, I'm super stoked that it's actually 2010!! I'm pumped for what God is gonna do!! He amazed me in '09. Bring it!! ;) sooo stoked!!

Hm, I want to know what is it exactly that's supporting me in this whole thing anyway and to NOT give up... well, here are some of my guesses.

1. Christian music
2. Reading my Bible
3. Prayer
4. Friends
5. very very very very very few family members
6. writing

I'm doing this (campus ministry thing) and I'm NOT giving up for anything!! Even if things don't go as I planned... they'll go as God says.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4



"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

EVEN IF! ;) and not Only if. (means I'll serve Christ no matter what happens and not the 'well, I'll serve Him only if this does(n't) happen..')