When Everything Falls Apart

I love that moment when you're flipping through the music on your mp3 player and you find that one perfect song. You know what I mean, that one song that just describes everything about the way you're feeling.
Well, I just did that very thing... and this is the song that just made me think "That's it!"

The song is Everything Falls by Fee. << Youtube it. (I can't post it here because this school laptop is being dumb and has it, with every single random- and I do mean random- thing blocked... but I can post the lyrics from a site that has the right lyrics! You said
You'd never leave or forsake me
When you said,
This life is gonna shake me
You said
This world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
This I know

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on

If you know me at all, you'd know this song is for someone like me you will not give up for anything. I won't give up when giving in to the idea of giving up seems so much easier than persuing after whatever it is that Jesus has called me to do. I won't give up, ever. Why? well, reason #1 it's not in the book. #2 it sure as heck aint an option for me or for you.

Giving up does sound easy, but it's not acceptable. we must not give up. We must continue to fight the fight.

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (1 Timothy 6:12)

You know I have to say this, it's been hard for me but it's all worth it. It's hard when your stuck with a very unsupportive mother (sorry ma, but you are. I do love ya, but, you're not helping me very well. was I too blunt?) who says it alot better than she can show it. Get real! please.

Why do I say she's unsupportive?
well ;

#1: I told her about the Campus Ministry and all she said was 'that's cool'

#2: I told her about the threat of a high school shooting (which isn't credible, but, it could very well happen.. we can never be sure) and what did she say? 'oh, that's cool' for real? did my mom really just say that a threat of high school shooting was cool? first, she dismisses that threat (credible or not, she'd still miss the point) second, by dismissing the threat, she dismisses their real need... a spiritual one. their need to feel like they matter, like someone loves them, like someone will actually listen.... like someone who will risk everything and go share Jesus with them.

#3 I told her about the school district planning on changing the block schedules for next year... going from 4 classes a day, 2 nights to do homework, to 8 classes a day and one night to do all of your homework... she wasn't getting that either... she doesn't get how every student is going to be extremely stressed out, and what about the teachers!? goodness. how are they going to grade all those papers!?

it's stressful just thinking about #3... it's not how I planned Junior year of high school to be, but, pray please!!

I mean, I guess I can't blame Ma for all of this... but, she is the majority.. and I do not mean that in a good way.

Just being a Christian who isn't ashamed of the gospel, is a battle today.
it's hard, but I'm willing to go where I'm sent. Are you?

Well, I guess simply put, I'd say never give up and at times you may feel at odds, but bring it! with God nothing is impossible!

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Psalm 18:2)

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

Lord, Empty Me

(Lyrics by Chris Sligh in his song 'Empty Me')

Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So i can be
Filled with you

I’ve seen just enough of the quick buys
Of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away

I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change

I really think that this song has become my prayer that I pray for daily.

I know what happens when I’m not filled with Jesus… I’m a complete mess and I don’t know what to do or how to do anything… I also know how amazing it truly is to be filled with Jesus. Nothing in this world can ever top that feeling! I can’t describe it… you just have to experience it for yourself.

I think it was yesterday, 2/11/10 , that I realized I wasn’t really willing to surrender two areas of my life… I wanted control over them. And guess where that has got me? No where… It was so stupid of me to do that. And yet it was in vain too. It was totally for me. Not for Jesus. I thought it was for Him, but I was wrong.

I wanted control over the Campus Ministry that I haven’t heard anything back yet from the activities director. I wasn’t really praying about it either. And I wanted control over I guess “changing” someone’s life and have them trust in Christ… but it doesn’t work that way. Only Jesus has the power to fully transform someone’s life from a living hell to feeling like they, with Jesus, can face what they are going through.

I’ve realized that wanting control over things in your life, doesn’t turn out so well as compared to when we surrender those areas to Christ alone. I know surrender doesn’t come easy to anyone. Especially when it comes to fully surrendering everything to God and trusting in Him that He knows what He’s doing.

Take a look at Jeremiah 29:11 with me;

“For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

It’s just that simple; He knows full well what He is doing. Why can’t we just trust Him in that area and not try to take over and end up doing a crash and burn?

Like I said earlier, surrender is hard for everyone. But it’s totally worth it.

Dear Lord,

Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So i can be
Filled with you

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Surrender Seriously or Not At All

---This is a devotional I wrote for the facebook group titled 'The New Breed For The Cause (A Devotional Group)' you should join (: I send out the ones I write on Saturdays in a fb message to all the members... and this one, will be sent out on 2/20/10.---

As I was walking home from the bus stop on Thursday (2/11/10), I had the song ‘Any Road, Any Cost’ by Point Of Grace playing on my mp3 player, and I began to think, “Am I truly willing to surrender everything, surrender every part of my life to Jesus and follow where He leads me?” At that point I began to question myself and wonder if God is ever pleased with the way Christians these days choose to surrender their lives. How is partial surrender biblical? Either you surrender seriously or just don’t even bother if you’re going to give God the attitude of ‘Oh you can have this area of my life, but you can’t have this part, because it’s mine.’ How is that biblical? Give me a verse that supports that excuse to not fully surrendering everything to Christ… He gave it all for you on that cross, why aren’t you giving your all back to Him?

If we we’re to be honest, we have no acceptable excuse for that type of response.

Here’s something from Mark 8:34

Then Jesus called the people to him. His followers were also there. Then Jesus said, "If any person wants to follow me, he must say 'No' to the things he wants. That person must accept the cross (suffering) that is given to him, and he must follow me. (ERV)

I don’t know about you, but I fail at times when it comes to this whole surrendering thing. Why do we fail? Because this word ‘surrender’ is hardly mentioned in today’s world, nor is it something that people want to strive for. This world has a whole another message (‘get what you want and don’t worry about anyone else,” “do what you want to do and don’t allow others to tell you what is right or wrong…” etc.) and I’d probably have another devotional or two just to cover that one.

I, personally, think that the whole idea of surrendering ones life fully to Christ, is something that every Christian out there struggles with, because that word ‘surrender’ is not talked about nor is it something that people think of as something they should do… because after all, they most likely think that it’s some stupid robotic thing where it’s actually not even like that! It’s not some ‘Oh, I’ve surrendered my life to Christ, now what do I do?... Say “beep beep I love you, God’ “Beep beep I love you, God.’ God didn’t create us to be like robots, nor am I convinced that he wants us to give a robotic like response… He loves us and therefore we shouldn’t give that sort of response to One who loves us so much that He gave his only Son.

I think people who have surrendered their lives to Christ, although they face their struggles with it, are looked down upon by this world as people who have lost their minds and have surrendered everything to this God whom no one has ever seen. And that takes faith!

Check out Hebrews 11:1 and what it has to say about faith;

1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Now, I’m almost done with this devotional but I would like to give you a verse in Revelation chapter 3 verses 15-16;

15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

When you do partial surrender, you’re making God sick in a sense… surrender your life seriously or not at all. Hot or cold? Love him? Hate him?

At the cross, Jesus gave His all just for you… He expects you to give Him your all.

Are you willing to pick up your cross and “Follow Me (Jesus)”? I sure am. Let’s not fake it this time though. Mean it every step of the way and let's continue to fight the good fight.

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (1 Timothy 6:12)

REMEMBER: Jesus said, "If any person wants to follow me, he must say 'No' to the things he wants. That person must accept the cross (suffering) that is given to him, and he must follow me. (ERV)

14For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. (2 Cor. 5:14)

- Katelyn

How does God do it!?

Goodness!! --read the post below and then read this one--

Woah, God is the absolute essence of amazing and beyond what words can ever begin to describe Him. I'm just amazed at what he has done and how he has used what seem like bad situations and turned them around and you just fall in love with Him!! agh!!!!!! I LOVE JESUS SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH MORE THAN LIFE!!!

WOW. Our God IS amaziiinggg!!! I know it was bad, but I dont care! My God is amaziingg!!!

I'll just post here these two songs by Desperation Band;





35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8

Can Anybody Hear Me?

I don't know what it is, but I'm really starting to hate the month of February... and I really wish I knew why. It seems for me to be the month where alot of things happen and I get stressed out easily of what seems to be the smallest of things. I didn't know that such small things could drive me crazy.

Like last night I couldn't sleep like at all on that floor.. it was uncomfortable and I woke up like 3-4 times. It was annoying. and this morning, well, I won't go into detail, but I lost a friend (no, they did not die... the friendship just ended. don't ask for details, cus I'm not giving them to anyone. No hard feelings!)

Why is this month, my birthday month, always seem so dramatic in a sense? that's not really a good thing either. Like my friend had her sweet 16 last night, and I did enjoy it. But, I guess I just wish I could have a party like that. See, I've never had a birthday party in my life... well, I think one time I did.. but I, the birthday girl, ended up paying for everything. How messed up is that?! It's not even right.

But, I guess that having materalistic things at your party won't make it better, I think it'd be the people you choose to spend it with that counts. Like say you could go to New York or Colorado or wherever, but would you be happy if you didn't have the people with you that you wanted to spend it with? Could you honestly be happy? I guess that could depend on who the person is and what their personality is like and how they choose to view the situation.

To be honest, it was kind of like me... but no out of state travels.

This is the one thing that really gets to me.. and I shouldn't let it. But what do I do? What would you do if you were me?

Why is this the hardest month for me every year? Can/will it ever get easier? It's always a hard month because everything that I go to and would like to go to, seems to be in the month of February.



Like Meredith said, I don't feel far from God, it's just that the actual song is not on youtube, and that's what I found.. the story behind the song. I wanted to post the whole song because I don't feel like any other person.. like my mom or my friends or whoever is actually listening. Well not really listening like when you're talking, but the type of listening that's empathetic. Like hearing someone before they even open up and start talking.

What happened to being empathetic towards people? I guess what I'm saying is that we lack on empathy...

difference between empathy and sympathy: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-difference-between-sympathy-and-empathy.htm

pray for me please.

P.S i know that I didnt give away much detail, but please pray.
- Katelyn