I don't know what it is, but I'm really starting to hate the month of February... and I really wish I knew why. It seems for me to be the month where alot of things happen and I get stressed out easily of what seems to be the smallest of things. I didn't know that such small things could drive me crazy.
Like last night I couldn't sleep like at all on that floor.. it was uncomfortable and I woke up like 3-4 times. It was annoying. and this morning, well, I won't go into detail, but I lost a friend (no, they did not die... the friendship just ended. don't ask for details, cus I'm not giving them to anyone. No hard feelings!)
Why is this month, my birthday month, always seem so dramatic in a sense? that's not really a good thing either. Like my friend had her sweet 16 last night, and I did enjoy it. But, I guess I just wish I could have a party like that. See, I've never had a birthday party in my life... well, I think one time I did.. but I, the birthday girl, ended up paying for everything. How messed up is that?! It's not even right.
But, I guess that having materalistic things at your party won't make it better, I think it'd be the people you choose to spend it with that counts. Like say you could go to New York or Colorado or wherever, but would you be happy if you didn't have the people with you that you wanted to spend it with? Could you honestly be happy? I guess that could depend on who the person is and what their personality is like and how they choose to view the situation.
To be honest, it was kind of like me... but no out of state travels.
This is the one thing that really gets to me.. and I shouldn't let it. But what do I do? What would you do if you were me?
Why is this the hardest month for me every year? Can/will it ever get easier? It's always a hard month because everything that I go to and would like to go to, seems to be in the month of February.
Like Meredith said, I don't feel far from God, it's just that the actual song is not on youtube, and that's what I found.. the story behind the song. I wanted to post the whole song because I don't feel like any other person.. like my mom or my friends or whoever is actually listening. Well not really listening like when you're talking, but the type of listening that's empathetic. Like hearing someone before they even open up and start talking.
What happened to being empathetic towards people? I guess what I'm saying is that we lack on empathy...
difference between empathy and sympathy: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-difference-between-sympathy-and-empathy.htm
pray for me please.
P.S i know that I didnt give away much detail, but please pray.
- Katelyn
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