Don't they see that I'm not happy? Don't they see the pain they have left me with? Isn't it obvious? Is it not in my eyes? Where am I placing this pain? It's all behind my smile. Just look into my eyes and maybe you'll see the pain they have left me with.
The pain of not knowing what to do because you have broken relationships with all of your family...well, it seems like that. I wish I could just close my eyes and the pain would be gone.... forever. Never ever to return.
It hurts. This can't be how it is supposed to be. A teenager who has no parent who seems to act like they REALLY care if you're sharing Jesus or whatever. Why isn't my mom being more a spirtual support for me at home?
Why does it feel like I'm left alone in this? I know that's not true, I know I'm not alone. Something has gotta change....mend this porcelain heart of mine.
Someone said that broken heart would sting at first then make you stronger. I wonder why this pain remains? Where hearts made whole just to brake?
I'm completely SHUT DOWN from my parent. Do they know when to back off?
I've cried while I was writing this... I can't describe the way I feel. I'm irritated yet hurt and confused. I don't know what to do. If I tell them they back off I'll get yelled at.... )':
I really don't know what to do anymore...or, who to go to. I know who I should, but, they've shut me down... alot. )': I feel like this pain is suffecating me. I can't stand it anymore! when will it end? I want to graduate High school and move out of Missouri. Maybe to Colorado? I don't know. But, even then, I'm not so sure if this pain will ever leave... /:
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