4Him Alone

I No Longer Reside Here... New Blog!

2010-03-16T22:31:00.001-07:00

I quit using this blog because when ever I tried posting something that I had wrote, it wouldn't properly paragraph it, and that got on my nerves so I decided to make a new one... and I've read what I wrote on here, and I see how much I've changed and grown as a person since creating a new blog and going through some really tough times... it all just made me relize that God is good no matter what we face. <3

follow me on my new blog(:

Katelyn

Behind The Scenes

2010-03-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

This song Behind The Scenes by Francesca Battistelli makes me think of two questions, if we knew fully what everyone goes through, know and understand every detail and nothing to be left out, and to feel the pain of what it's like for someone else, would we treat them the same way that we do now? What if we knew, would we be more willing to pick up our crosses follow Jesus and show those around us his love? or would we freak out too soon and unknowingly add to their pain when we choose to walk away?

what a tragedy that would be! Jesus loves them soo much, and we should show them that. Is it way too much to ask of you to make someone feel like they're not just another face in a crowd? Make them feel like they matter, they're loved, they have someone who, for once, actually CARES? Like you're not all talk, you're actions and words match up?

I know this idea freaks people out. Why? well, have you looked at the world yet? When it comes to 'love', we're expected to love those who look like they deserve it... not that nerd at lunch, not that shy kid, not the girl in the corner with her head down, not that person who is sitting alone, not that gir or that boy. But, instead we're to love those who "deserve" love. Not true at all.

What does the Bible have to say about this topic?

The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these. (NRSV, Mark 12:31)

You have heard that the law of Moses says, "Love your neighbor and hate your enemy." But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and on the unjust, too. If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect. (NLT, Matthew 5:43-48)

If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. (NRSV, 1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end... And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love. (NRSV, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13)

We love because he first loved us. Those who say, "I love God," and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also. (NRSV, 1 John 4:19-21)

I don't know how much the Bible talks about love, but you should get the point. So, here's the song by Francesca Battistelli;

When I googled the lyrics for this, I thought of one person. (out of respect, no names will be given.) This one person, rides my bus and sits infront of me. He told me something and I'll never forget what he said. He said he tried to kill himself, and my jaw dropped. Why? because I never would have suspected he would be one to do that or attempt to do that.

People put up a dang good front and pull off the "I'm ok" attitude. Have you ever thought that the people you've walked by today, could go home, and on their way, they get into a reck and die? or even worse, go home and committ suicide? What if you see it on the news the next day? Will you regret not taking time out of your day to make an eternal difference in their life? Will you share Jesus with them?

Because as the song states, Even though I've got the lines rehearsed
A picture only paints a thousand words
Things aren't always what they seem
You're only seeing part of me
There's more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes
I'm incomplete and I'm undone
But I suppose like everyone
There's so much more that's going on
Behind the scenes

please, don't wait to change the way you treat people. treat them the way Jesus would. Treat them as you wish to be treated.

Here's a challenge for you to do for the rest of your life, and yes, I'm aware not everyone will take it. I challenge you to go that one extra mile for someone, anyone. It doesn't matter who... everyone needs to feel like they matter and are loved for who they are. Your challenge? go that one extra mile for 3 people every week til you die. I know it's a crazy challenge, but it's possible.

are you ready? I am! Let's do this.

- Katelyn

5071404... Your new identity

2010-03-02T21:54:00.000-08:00

I don't think I can ever forget that number. On Tuesday, which would be today, March 2nd 2010, in Self Development at school, we went to a prison as a field trip or something.

Go here to read the comments from me of what went on today; http://www.facebook.com/livethecause#!/livethecause?v=feed&story_fbid=383441530288

That number, 5071404, in prison, means that's what you answer to. and at the start, we had to put on this thing that had the number on it, (btw, each number is different) and in prison, you're not known by your name, in prison, you have NO identity, except for that number.... and you must memorize it in there. One of the guys made us memorize the number in 5 seconds... and then asked random people what their number is.... backwards! I failed and had to go by the wall and look in the mirror and memorize my number. Do you realize how hell-ish it would be to actually be in prison for like 20 + years?! I couldn't stand it that one day!

Before I got in the room area, we had to go 5 at a time in there, and I could already hear them yelling. And I didn't know why and I still don't, but what I did know, was that I wanted to go home. badly! it was aweful!

I didn't know what to think when I found out that, by your number, not your name, you are known for in prison. When you get that number, you have no identity. No one is going to call you by your name, they'll call you by your number. I wouldn't be 'Katelyn Frye', I'd be 5071404.

Although, in prison, you're known by a number. but, by God, the God who created the earth, the birds, the sky, the grass, the water, the sun...etc. He doesn't know you by some number... He doesn't know you as 'Creation number 2999939041' , He knows you by NAME! How cool is that?

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! (Psalm 139)

I'm glad that God knows me, not by some number, but by my name.

Look at this verse again;
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you.

wow, I don't know what to say. It's amazing that God knows me! and you! Have you ever thought about that? like really thought about it... I don't mean just think about it for a few minutes, but for days, weeks, months, years ect. even if you did do that, you wouldn't understand Him and why he does that. I don't even understand it!! But I'm in awe of Him!

5071404, is not my identity. My identity is found in Jesus and my name is Katelyn!!

When Everything Falls Apart

2010-02-22T18:44:00.000-08:00

I love that moment when you're flipping through the music on your mp3 player and you find that one perfect song. You know what I mean, that one song that just describes everything about the way you're feeling.
Well, I just did that very thing... and this is the song that just made me think "That's it!"

The song is Everything Falls by Fee. << Youtube it. (I can't post it here because this school laptop is being dumb and has it, with every single random- and I do mean random- thing blocked... but I can post the lyrics from a site that has the right lyrics!You said
You'd never leave or forsake me
When you said,
This life is gonna shake me
You said
This world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
This I know

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on

If you know me at all, you'd know this song is for someone like me you will not give up for anything. I won't give up when giving in to the idea of giving up seems so much easier than persuing after whatever it is that Jesus has called me to do. I won't give up, ever. Why? well, reason #1 it's not in the book. #2 it sure as heck aint an option for me or for you.

Giving up does sound easy, but it's not acceptable. we must not give up. We must continue to fight the fight.

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (1 Timothy 6:12)

You know I have to say this, it's been hard for me but it's all worth it. It's hard when your stuck with a very unsupportive mother (sorry ma, but you are. I do love ya, but, you're not helping me very well. was I too blunt?) who says it alot better than she can show it. Get real! please.

Why do I say she's unsupportive?
well ;

#1: I told her about the Campus Ministry and all she said was 'that's cool'

#2: I told her about the threat of a high school shooting (which isn't credible, but, it could very well happen.. we can never be sure) and what did she say? 'oh, that's cool' for real? did my mom really just say that a threat of high school shooting was cool? first, she dismisses that threat (credible or not, she'd still miss the point) second, by dismissing the threat, she dismisses their real need... a spiritual one. their need to feel like they matter, like someone loves them, like someone will actually listen.... like someone who will risk everything and go share Jesus with them.

#3 I told her about the school district planning on changing the block schedules for next year... going from 4 classes a day, 2 nights to do homework, to 8 classes a day and one night to do all of your homework... she wasn't getting that either... she doesn't get how every student is going to be extremely stressed out, and what about the teachers!? goodness. how are they going to grade all those papers!?

it's stressful just thinking about #3... it's not how I planned Junior year of high school to be, but, pray please!!

I mean, I guess I can't blame Ma for all of this... but, she is the majority.. and I do not mean that in a good way.

Just being a Christian who isn't ashamed of the gospel, is a battle today.
it's hard, but I'm willing to go where I'm sent. Are you?

Well, I guess simply put, I'd say never give up and at times you may feel at odds, but bring it! with God nothing is impossible!

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Psalm 18:2)

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

Lord, Empty Me

2010-02-12T09:09:00.000-08:00

(Lyrics by Chris Sligh in his song 'Empty Me')

Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So i can be
Filled with you

I’ve seen just enough of the quick buys
Of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away

I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change

I really think that this song has become my prayer that I pray for daily.

I know what happens when I’m not filled with Jesus… I’m a complete mess and I don’t know what to do or how to do anything… I also know how amazing it truly is to be filled with Jesus. Nothing in this world can ever top that feeling! I can’t describe it… you just have to experience it for yourself.

I think it was yesterday, 2/11/10 , that I realized I wasn’t really willing to surrender two areas of my life… I wanted control over them. And guess where that has got me? No where… It was so stupid of me to do that. And yet it was in vain too. It was totally for me. Not for Jesus. I thought it was for Him, but I was wrong.

I wanted control over the Campus Ministry that I haven’t heard anything back yet from the activities director. I wasn’t really praying about it either. And I wanted control over I guess “changing” someone’s life and have them trust in Christ… but it doesn’t work that way. Only Jesus has the power to fully transform someone’s life from a living hell to feeling like they, with Jesus, can face what they are going through.

I’ve realized that wanting control over things in your life, doesn’t turn out so well as compared to when we surrender those areas to Christ alone. I know surrender doesn’t come easy to anyone. Especially when it comes to fully surrendering everything to God and trusting in Him that He knows what He’s doing.

Take a look at Jeremiah 29:11 with me;

“For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

It’s just that simple; He knows full well what He is doing. Why can’t we just trust Him in that area and not try to take over and end up doing a crash and burn?

Like I said earlier, surrender is hard for everyone. But it’s totally worth it.

Dear Lord,

Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So i can be
Filled with you

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Surrender Seriously or Not At All

2010-02-11T23:10:00.000-08:00

---This is a devotional I wrote for the facebook group titled 'The New Breed For The Cause (A Devotional Group)' you should join (: I send out the ones I write on Saturdays in a fb message to all the members... and this one, will be sent out on 2/20/10.---

As I was walking home from the bus stop on Thursday (2/11/10), I had the song ‘Any Road, Any Cost’ by Point Of Grace playing on my mp3 player, and I began to think, “Am I truly willing to surrender everything, surrender every part of my life to Jesus and follow where He leads me?” At that point I began to question myself and wonder if God is ever pleased with the way Christians these days choose to surrender their lives. How is partial surrender biblical? Either you surrender seriously or just don’t even bother if you’re going to give God the attitude of ‘Oh you can have this area of my life, but you can’t have this part, because it’s mine.’ How is that biblical? Give me a verse that supports that excuse to not fully surrendering everything to Christ… He gave it all for you on that cross, why aren’t you giving your all back to Him?

If we we’re to be honest, we have no acceptable excuse for that type of response.

Here’s something from Mark 8:34

Then Jesus called the people to him. His followers were also there. Then Jesus said, "If any person wants to follow me, he must say 'No' to the things he wants. That person must accept the cross (suffering) that is given to him, and he must follow me. (ERV)

I don’t know about you, but I fail at times when it comes to this whole surrendering thing. Why do we fail? Because this word ‘surrender’ is hardly mentioned in today’s world, nor is it something that people want to strive for. This world has a whole another message (‘get what you want and don’t worry about anyone else,” “do what you want to do and don’t allow others to tell you what is right or wrong…” etc.) and I’d probably have another devotional or two just to cover that one.

I, personally, think that the whole idea of surrendering ones life fully to Christ, is something that every Christian out there struggles with, because that word ‘surrender’ is not talked about nor is it something that people think of as something they should do… because after all, they most likely think that it’s some stupid robotic thing where it’s actually not even like that! It’s not some ‘Oh, I’ve surrendered my life to Christ, now what do I do?... Say “beep beep I love you, God’ “Beep beep I love you, God.’ God didn’t create us to be like robots, nor am I convinced that he wants us to give a robotic like response… He loves us and therefore we shouldn’t give that sort of response to One who loves us so much that He gave his only Son.

I think people who have surrendered their lives to Christ, although they face their struggles with it, are looked down upon by this world as people who have lost their minds and have surrendered everything to this God whom no one has ever seen. And that takes faith!

Check out Hebrews 11:1 and what it has to say about faith;

1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Now, I’m almost done with this devotional but I would like to give you a verse in Revelation chapter 3 verses 15-16;

15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

When you do partial surrender, you’re making God sick in a sense… surrender your life seriously or not at all. Hot or cold? Love him? Hate him?

At the cross, Jesus gave His all just for you… He expects you to give Him your all.

Are you willing to pick up your cross and “Follow Me (Jesus)”? I sure am. Let’s not fake it this time though. Mean it every step of the way and let's continue to fight the good fight.

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (1 Timothy 6:12)

REMEMBER: Jesus said, "If any person wants to follow me, he must say 'No' to the things he wants. That person must accept the cross (suffering) that is given to him, and he must follow me. (ERV)

14For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. (2 Cor. 5:14)

- Katelyn

How does God do it!?

2010-02-07T21:46:00.000-08:00

Goodness!! --read the post below and then read this one--

Woah, God is the absolute essence of amazing and beyond what words can ever begin to describe Him. I'm just amazed at what he has done and how he has used what seem like bad situations and turned them around and you just fall in love with Him!! agh!!!!!! I LOVE JESUS SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH MORE THAN LIFE!!!

WOW. Our God IS amaziiinggg!!! I know it was bad, but I dont care! My God is amaziingg!!!

I'll just post here these two songs by Desperation Band;

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8

Can Anybody Hear Me?

2010-02-07T16:20:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is, but I'm really starting to hate the month of February... and I really wish I knew why. It seems for me to be the month where alot of things happen and I get stressed out easily of what seems to be the smallest of things. I didn't know that such small things could drive me crazy.

Like last night I couldn't sleep like at all on that floor.. it was uncomfortable and I woke up like 3-4 times. It was annoying. and this morning, well, I won't go into detail, but I lost a friend (no, they did not die... the friendship just ended. don't ask for details, cus I'm not giving them to anyone. No hard feelings!)

Why is this month, my birthday month, always seem so dramatic in a sense? that's not really a good thing either. Like my friend had her sweet 16 last night, and I did enjoy it. But, I guess I just wish I could have a party like that. See, I've never had a birthday party in my life... well, I think one time I did.. but I, the birthday girl, ended up paying for everything. How messed up is that?! It's not even right.

But, I guess that having materalistic things at your party won't make it better, I think it'd be the people you choose to spend it with that counts. Like say you could go to New York or Colorado or wherever, but would you be happy if you didn't have the people with you that you wanted to spend it with? Could you honestly be happy? I guess that could depend on who the person is and what their personality is like and how they choose to view the situation.

To be honest, it was kind of like me... but no out of state travels.

This is the one thing that really gets to me.. and I shouldn't let it. But what do I do? What would you do if you were me?

Why is this the hardest month for me every year? Can/will it ever get easier? It's always a hard month because everything that I go to and would like to go to, seems to be in the month of February.

Like Meredith said, I don't feel far from God, it's just that the actual song is not on youtube, and that's what I found.. the story behind the song. I wanted to post the whole song because I don't feel like any other person.. like my mom or my friends or whoever is actually listening. Well not really listening like when you're talking, but the type of listening that's empathetic. Like hearing someone before they even open up and start talking.

What happened to being empathetic towards people? I guess what I'm saying is that we lack on empathy...

difference between empathy and sympathy: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-difference-between-sympathy-and-empathy.htm

pray for me please.

P.S i know that I didnt give away much detail, but please pray.
- Katelyn

What Comes After High School?

2010-01-17T09:57:00.000-08:00

Almost all of my friends know that after high school, I want to move to Colorado and go to Colorado Christian University and then, at some point, work in youth ministry. Why? Because I believe God can raise up a generation of teenagers who aren’t just radicals, but rebelutionaries… A generation of teenagers who go all out and do hard things for the glory of God. Teens do have a very high potential. We need people (adults) who believe in us and who “push” us to go all out for God. The only thing that scares me is leaving Ma here in Kansas City alone. See, my parents got a divorce. (It became official, by law, May 8th, 2009) My dad lives somewhere in Kansas. Of course, my mom is always free to visit me there… what kind of a daughter would I be to deny her mother visitation rights!? I know, I don’t want to leave her here… alone that is.

Maybe I should ‘hook’ her up? Ugh, that sounded just as weird out loud as it did in my head… There’s something else that scares me a little… well, a lot. Not for me though… but for the other teenagers at my high school. See, somewhere close to the beginning of the school year, another teen made a threat to shoot the school up… my principle said it’s not a credible threat. Do I believe him? I want to. But, when it comes right down to it, no, I really don’t believe him. (I feel bad for saying that because he’s a nice guy..but, I believe that showing others love and compassion and kindness seems to be the only one that’ll prevent violence.) I want to so bad though!! But, I’m starting to feel that like if I do, do that, then I’d be dismissing the teens real need. They need to feel loved. They need to feel like they’re being heard… they need to, when they’re the one sitting alone during lunch, have someone come over there and actually have a real conversation with them. They need Jesus… who will put their popularity, friends, and reputation on the line and get up and go share the greatest message of all time with them? Will you?

Of course when you say ‘yes’ to Jesus, satan will attack… why? He wants to distract you and get you to think things like ‘I have till the end of the school year to share Jesus with them.’ Or ‘they’re gonna hate me… they’ll think I’m some religious nut and ignore me.. or get mad at me.’ Or ‘I won’t know what to say if they ask a hard question..’ etc. If you’ve said ‘Yes’ to Jesus… go in His power. Not yours!!!! Ask Him for the wisdom… he said he’ll give it to you when you ask him for it. Let Him speak through you. It’s going to be worth it all. He loves you and He loves them… and that’ll NEVER change.

Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. Well, back to the threat thing… even though this one isn’t credible, what about the other like 1,000 something teenagers? What about them? I don’t like to think like this, but, they could one day just bring a gun to school. I hate thinking like that… I wish I wouldn’t. It’s quite negative. But, I’m not one to completely dismiss the possibility… It makes me cry though. I don’t want to think about people dying without Jesus and ending up in Hell… an eternal separation from a God who loves them so much that he sent his only son to die for them… If it does happen, (pray it never does!!!) and if I die in it (I know, it’s a sad thought and I don’t want to make you think like that…) know that I’d be heaven wishing you all were there with me.

(Mark Harris – I Wish You Were Here) Revelation 21:4 says, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” If I do die in it, if it ever happens, this song better be played at my funeral along with He Is With You by Mandisa. I know this is a sad blog post, but, I needed to write it or I’d lose my mind from not venting the way I feel. It’s clearly obvious that I am quite concerned about other teenagers dying without having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I know this started out with the plans of what I want to do after high school and then it switched tones… I didn’t really plan on writing about the threat, but I did. I’m not going to let it go either… us Christian teens need to kick into gear and start being like Jesus with skin on to the other students there on our campuses… high school, middle school and even elementary.

In everything we do, do it to please God not man… who gives a rep about it if you lose some friends because you loved them enough to go out and share Jesus with them? Who cares if you lose your ‘popularity’? Who cares if you lose your “cool”? The thing is, if you truly love them and don’t want to see them go to hell, you’d get on top of a mountain and shout it out. Shout it out that Jesus loves them more they can even fathom, shout it out that they can finally have the assurance to know that when they die, they’ll go to heaven. Shout it out that someone cares about them…. And he knows exactly how they feel and he’ll never leave nor forsake them. He is always there. He loves when we don’t love back. He is. He was. He always be!! For me, it doesn’t matter what happens, good or bad, I will still serve Christ!! Even if something bad happens, I will still serve him and still do what he has called me to do. It’s not the ‘well. I’ll serve him only if he does this or that for me…’ its not like that. It’s EVEN IF not ONLY IF!! Hold on to Jesus. Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you!! p.s. before I ever came to this high school, I made a commitment.

A commitment to love these teens whom I’ve never met before, and to accept them for who they are and not judge them, and to share Jesus with them… no matter what!! I’m so grateful I made this commitment. It’s made a good sophomore year for me.

“The thief has come to steal, kill and destroy, but Jesus has come so that you may have life and life to the fullest.” John 10:10

Colossians 4:5-6 “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

While I'm Waiting

2010-01-07T00:28:00.001-08:00

Oh my gooddnesss!!! I am almost at a complete loss for words!!! and that is a good thing.. I think. :)

Most of you know what has happened to me... with the whole campus ministry thing and how un-supportive my family is. (there are VERY few that actually do support me) I really wish i could say they're supportive, but in doing that, I'd be lying. I do, at times, wish things were different.

But, lets not talk how about how much I want things to be different. and lets talk about how much I love things the way they are.

I'm speechless from all the suppport I've gotten already. It is overwhelming!! But I love it!! it is very much needed and very very very very very appreciated.

I do have the times when I do want to completly give up because it seems to be way too hard for me. Do I? No. Have I? No. Will I? Nopers :)

I love Jesus and I will not give up for nothing. Even if things happen that seem like they could just rip everything to shreds, I'll still serve Christ.

Makes me think of the song While I'm Waiting by John Waller... ;

I love all of you xD

Visit Hope Rising

It's 2010!

2010-01-02T22:09:00.000-08:00

Finally, 2009 is over! Not that I didn't enjoy parts of that year... 2009, in and of itself was a challenge... I'm glad '09 is over though. 2010 will have it's challenges. Not sure what though, but, I do know that if I knew what they are, I'd back down... But, I'm not like that. Just not that type of person who just up and quits.

I did not come this far to stop now. I'll stop when God says to stop. Because, well, after all, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Phillippians 1:6

2009 was a very much needed year. although, I hated one part. May 8th. (parents divorced...officially)... well, I see that God used that to show me that He is my Daddy! (I do love my 'earthly' dad ;) )

Psalm 68:5
"Father to the fatherless..."

Psalm 27:10
"Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will recieve me."

I feel like my parents have forsaken me... Mom more than dad. Even though I live with my mom, she's pretty irritating... I mean, she doesn't get it!!! She should be supporting me with the Campus Ministry... but she isn't. When I told her that someone made a threat (it's not a credible one.. thank God.) to shoot up my high school and she says she cares...but, from her response, I got the opposite message. she said, with a very obvious amount of sarcasism, "oh.. That's cool." And she wonders why I get ticked off at her... Think about it if you need to.

Dad, well, he was pretty much "absent" from my whole childhood... I mean, from what he's been through when he was a kid, he really doesn't know how to be there. I'm NOT mad at him either. It's his dad that I blame for this. That's who I'm kinda mad at. There's really no point in being mad, I'm wasting emotion on something that I have no power over to change. I can't change anyones past. I love my dad. He's the one who'd get it if I were to tell him about the threat. and he'd actually care... show it and say it. Even though, he doesn't know "how" to be there, when he does try, he does just fine and I love him for it. I hope he reads this one day.

Oh, sorry Ma but uh, your little girl, is STILL a daddas girl. Handle that!

alright, so, I'm super stoked that it's actually 2010!! I'm pumped for what God is gonna do!! He amazed me in '09. Bring it!! ;) sooo stoked!!

Hm, I want to know what is it exactly that's supporting me in this whole thing anyway and to NOT give up... well, here are some of my guesses.

1. Christian music
2. Reading my Bible
3. Prayer
4. Friends
5. very very very very very few family members
6. writing

I'm doing this (campus ministry thing) and I'm NOT giving up for anything!! Even if things don't go as I planned... they'll go as God says.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

EVEN IF! ;) and not Only if. (means I'll serve Christ no matter what happens and not the 'well, I'll serve Him only if this does(n't) happen..')

This Christmas

2009-12-19T19:26:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas, it's my favorite holiday... but there's something different this year... I want to just skip Christmas and New Years Day. Why? Well, let's go back to May 8th of this year. It was a Monday... and to my dismay, the day it became official, the day my parents got a divorce..

My mom, and sister seem to be taking it like NOTHING ever happened.. as if they were already divorced. Well, they somewhat were... just not legally or whatever. I hate it! I texted my mom that day and asked if the divorce was official, and she said yes. I was in the last hour of school that day (study hall)... and I almost broke down in complete tears... I was fighting them, I lost it that night in my room though.

I want to skip christmas because, every year is always the same, always the same people, always ONE missing from the picture. That one, you ask, is my Dad. The only year that he was there, was the one year that I was sick with a horrible soar throat, a bad cough and a fever.. it was nice that he was there. That's all I want this year... for my dad to actually BE there... and not just "there" but actually involved. I love MY dad ;)

The best gift that a teenage girl like me could ask for this christmas, would be to have my dad there. I don't care if someone gave me the coolest thing on earth, that wouldn't come close to having my dad there. It would be amazing.. oh and on my birthday (2/16) too! I'll be a 16 year old whose NEVER had a birthday party.

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

In the past, I've been given gifts that, to be honest, felt like they were trying to buy my love for them. You can't buy love.. it doesn't work that way. You can't earn it either.

This isn't what Christmas is all about... I mean, yes, I'm sorry there's suffering in the world and what not... but, it's about Jesus!

Why would God come down, leave EVERYTHING, just to die for me? I guess it's because of His love for us.

Romans 5:8 says "God demonstrated His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Jesus died to save us... He died so that we may have life and life to the fullest (John 10:10). He is the reason to live.

Isaiah 53:5
"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."

There's nothing you can do, and there's nothing I can do that'll earn our way to heaven. Jesus said in John 14:6 that HE is the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the father but by me.

Christianity is not some religion, it's a relationship. The word religion, literally means to "bind back"... as if we could ever work our way to a righteous, holy and perfect God. We are sinful, God is too holy to dwell with sin.. it's quite stupid if you ask me... as if working our way to God would ever work!! I think God is far more holy than we think and we're alot more sinful than we think. I mean, compared to God's holy, perfect standard, we fall short.

Romans 3:23
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

1. God is the perfect one here...
2. We're the farthest from perfect...
3. Jesus is the one who did ALL the work so we could have a relationship with God and have eternal life.

John 3:15
"That everyone who believes in Him may have eternal life."

If we could get to heaven by our "good deeds" than why aren't we able to clean ourselves before we actually take a shower? huh? see, it just don't work that way. Just be quiet and accept Jesus' free gift of eternal life!! ;) If I gave you a million dollars, would you smack me? No. Would you spit at me? No. Would you call me an idiot? No. You'd accept it and be thankful. So, why not accept Jesus' FREE gift of eternal life? It sort of looks like a slap in the face to God when you choose to "earn" your way to heaven by your "good" deeds... He's offered us so much more than a million dollars, He's offered LIFE!! It's a free gift, who in their right mind could ever say 'no' to that? All you have to do is trust in Him... He did the rest already on the cross 2,000 years ago. :) Thank God. We would never reach ultimate perfection!

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2)

Merry Christmas ;)

If We Are The Body..

2009-12-16T21:02:00.000-08:00

I have a serious problem with the atmosphere of the youth group at church... Like tonight, when I walked in there, I wasn't sure if this was a "Christian" atmosphere or a "Worldly" atmosphere. I've noticed there are cliques of people in there... they always seem to just stay with their friends and not go and talk to anyone else.

I remember when this group of teens from another state where there, and one of them, talked to me and it was pretty cool, because she was so loving and caring towards me. It was a little overwhelming. That's what we should do... when we see a new comer, why not run towards them and give them a hug and talk for a good 20 minutes or something?! and have a real conversation?

I remember, tonight, seeing someone, and I'm not sure if he was new or what, but, he looked like he really wasn't convinced this is the LOVING, CARING atmosphere. It was disappointing that the atmosphere was aweful... I walked in there and it was an intense feeling that was in there. And, I'm not going to lie, I wanted to leave.

If someone were to leave church because of the aweful "Christian" atmosphere... I wouldn't blame them. We are supposed to be the most loving, caring, humble, real...etc. people ever. And I didn't feel that tonight at all. I really wanted to leave...

Like in the youth service, what in the world is the focus? Do they make sense when you put them together? Do they support your sermon for the night? Nothing in the service seemed to go together tonight...

Well, after high school, I want to be a youth pastor or something working with teenagers. ;) Whenever we start the Campus Ministry, I pray that the Christian atmosphere will be there and that no one will be able to deny it! The love. The caring. The humbleness. The fun. The atmosphere of people being open about what they believe and why, and etc. and it'll be like a magnet that people wonder why we act the way that we do.

Yesssuh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-12-14T16:17:00.000-08:00

I met with my high school principle today about the campus ministry today during advisory. And when my advisory teacher told me to go to the office, I was soooooo nervous, I prayed like crazy!! It’s great to know that my principle is a Christian and he and other people (including me) pray for staley everyday. Thank God!!

Sometime this week I get to meet with the activities director and talk about it and then I’ll get an official club form to fill out. Now, I gotta find a sponsor (sp?) for it… he told me that the guy will probably ask me if I have one… if I don’t, i hope he’ll help us out.

He assured me that the threat of a shooting, wasn’t credible and that they took care of it and talked to the student... He asked me a question that I can’t remember, but it was about the threat, and I couldn’t help it… I cried. He said he didn’t mean to make me cry…he found my blog post ‘Threat Of A Staley High School Shooting’ He asked me if I thought I was in trouble when he told me he found it, I said no… I was nervous.. don’t know why, I didn’t say anything bad in my blog.

He told me he’s glad I love my high school. My principle seems like a cool guy ;)

I'll Praise You In This Storm

2009-12-13T22:14:00.000-08:00

This is alot harder than I imagined... apparently, getting no support from mom has affected me soo much that I can't even eat. And when I cry it hurts... physically, my mouth gets dry and my stomach starts to hurt.

At times, I'm not going to lie about it, I want to quit. But, that's not an option. I (we) have to reach out to my generation... now.

"Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path." -Psalm 119:105

(The light in Bible time lamps, came from candles. In the span of their dim light, a person could only see enough to take the next step. Lamps weren't like flashlights that allow a person to see a long ways down the path. So this verse is a reminder. Let God's word guide your next step. -Teen Study Bible)

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him." -Psalm 103:11

"When I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God whose word I praise, In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" -Psalm 55:3-4

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him." -Psalm 62:5

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." -Psalm 35:18

"Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will recieve me." -Psalm 27:10

It is so hard to continue with this campus ministry. I won't give up though. I don't have that option.

Earlier in the car, I don't remember exactly what we were talking about, but, my mom ignorantly claimed to know me... so I tested her because I know she has no idea. I asked, "Then what's my problem?" She is my problem...right now. I mean, yeah, she gave birth to me and raised me, thaty does NOT mean you know me. To know someone, you have to hangout together... and whatever. Ma said that I wouldn't have a problem with people... yet. Explain to me, how stinkin ignorant can someone get?! C'MON!

I'm 100% convinced that Ma does NOT care. Why? Because when I told her, "Someone threated to shoot up Staley." she said; "Oh. That's cool" She doesn't care that OTHER teens lives can be snatched from them... let alone my life... gee Ma, thanks for all the "support". Out of all the people I have met, she certanly counts as one of them or all of them.

This is hard and I know that. I'm determined to see my generation turned around with and by the power of the gospel. Please, don't stop praying for us and the other teens on their high school and middle school campuses in and out of the U.S. We do love and appreciate all of the support.

PRAY. PRAY. PRAY. PRAY.

Matthew 26:41
"Keep alert and pray. Otherwise temptation will overpower you. For though the spirit is willing enough, the body is weak!"

Luke 18:1
Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

Ephesians 6:18
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Romans 8:26-27
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Psalm 34:17
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.

Psalm 91:15
He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

Matthew 6:6
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

"…The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective" (James 5:16).

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him" (Matthew 6:5-8).

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: 'Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: "God, I thank you that I am not like other men-robbers, evildoers, adulterers-or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get." But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, "God, have mercy on me, a sinner. I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted"'" (Luke 18:9-14).

What I want to know is, where in the world am I getting my determination to see this generation reached from?! I love it!!

continue to pray for all of us.

So Pumped About Campus Ministry!!!!

2009-12-08T19:55:00.000-08:00

Could I get any more stoked? I think so!! God is so amazing. I'm soo glad I go to Staley High School.

If tomorrow isn't a snow day, me and my friend Sara are going to the office to see about the Campus Ministry. These teens need Jesus now before all hell breaks lose at our high school. My friend, Katie, told me that the school shooting by another student was supposed to happen the day she found out... it was planned to happen during the first lunch. I blogged about it, title 'Threat Of A Staley High School Shooting'... just scroll down and you'll eventually find it.

It's crazy! We've got to pray about it... pray for teens to be reached with the message of Jesus and for us to boldly proclaim the gospel as we should and also for us to show the love of Christ to those students. I mean, can't you see it, the one student who sits alone during lunch, being shown and feeling the love of Christ from genuine Christian teenagers?! They feeling actually loved and cared for... the solution to preventing school violence is that. Jesus. No tighter secruity, gun control..or anything else. But only the love and hope that is only found in Jesus alone.

As I said before, I'm so glad I go to Staley. Our high school is our mission field.. Let's do this in the power of Christ!! INVINCIBLE!! Talk about takin your school by storm with the message and mission of Jesus!

Super stoked!! Remember to keep praying for us and all the other teens on their high school and middle school campuses in and out of America.

Paitence!!

2009-12-07T19:19:00.000-08:00

I gotta be honest, I'm not the most paitent person. Especially if I'm in a hurry and someone, this never seems to fail, is ALWAYS taking their dear sweet time. It's frustrating. I wish we could just stop time... but that's not how God did it.

I remember soo many times where I would do something, like this one time at my grandmas house, I was pretty frezzing cold so I turned the heat up and she yelled at me and said "Don't You EVER do THAT AGAIN!" I'm like "but I was cold..." she said "I don't care, don't you ever touch it." it's extremely irritating. It's hurts too. We are some SELFISH people... pretty heartless too. Way too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance.

Read this: (Found it on myyearbook.com)

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
---------------------------------------------------------

wow. Alright, so I have a confession that I'm VERY disappointed in myself about, I'm not happy to say it, it was a Sunday night in KC, and I guess my grandma had been pushing my buttons for far too long that I, well, snapped. Not verbally... (take a note: I'm not the physically violent type person so this is a shocker to alot) but ALMOST physically... I was holding my little cousin, Caleb, when she ticked me off... Let's just say my mind wasn't focusing... and well, I ALMOST threw my lil cousin at her, but, Thank God, God stopped me and the thought I had was a reality check... it said "What do you think you're doing?!" So, I sat caleb down and didn't pick him back up... I lost all paitence and totally flipped out... It's not something I'm proud of, I'm thankful that God stopped me though. Oh, and on Monday night, the guilt ATTACKED the heck out of me... I didn't know what to do. I needed to be forgiven.

I hate it when the devil just won't back off and keep it under Jesus' blood.

Exactly. So be PAITENT!!

James 1:19-22
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

Friday. 12-4-09

2009-12-03T20:08:00.000-08:00

So, after reading Andrews' comment, (which was quite encouraging btw. thankyou) I've decided that we HAVE got to do the CM during lunch until we can do it after school. These christian teens need to know how to reach out to those who don't know Jesus. Relational/Relentless.

Maybe, next weekend, me and my friend Sara can go to the mall and share Jesus with random people. :)

Pray with me that I use the 20 minutes for God and nothing else.

I Can't Do It Anymore...

2009-12-02T20:12:00.000-08:00

I'm sick 'n tired or waiting on the high school people/ person whatever to give us an answer on the campus ministry. I am going to lose my mind... if I haven't already. I'm irritated yet hurt. Teens need Jesus NOW! not later. Later is too late.

Later could be when someone gets pushed over the edge and could commit suicide, or even worse, a high school shooting... is that what'll happen to get everyone's attention? they need HIM now. It's not the hell they're headed to, but the hell they are going through that they need saving from.

I can't do it anymore. I'm sick 'n tired of going to the office and writing reminder notes because the guy is "too busy." It's been almost 2 - 3 months. I'm not even close to convinced they're taking me seriously.

I'll NEED to have an adult come or call up there and convince them about the campus ministry. Teens reaching teens til every teen is reached.THE cause.

I don't know who should call up there.... I want someone to do it though.

At lunch today, I didn't even try to bring the CM up. 20 minutes just isn't even close to enough time... just seems like sheer pep talk time before an evangelism happens. I don't know who'll take me seriously..

Who is passionate about seeing teens reach teens with the message and mission of Jesus? I am. Are you? We really need an adult somewhere, anywhere to not sit out on the sidelines, like it feels like some of you already are doing.

To be honest, in Kansas City, I don't know anyone who'll call my high school and explain to them the importance of the campus ministry and why we need more than just a bible study. Agh, please help. it's all I ask. What if this prevents the high school shooting? What if it saves a student from commiting suicide? What if a student decides to improve... academically? What if every teen in america is reached with the gospel? What if ever school teacher, administrator, janiter, etc at every school is reached because of a teenager?

Are you willing to help us? please. Every second someone dies and possibly ends up in Hell... Don't let satan have one more!!

**Because of you, Jesus can become real to MY generation.

PSA 37:24 though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him
with his hand.

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures
forever--do not abandon the works of your hands (in the bible somewhere)

Jereimah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

(in the bible somewhere) "and my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus, our Lord"

Hebrews 10:19-39... (its pretty long so I'll save space.)

"God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28

5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in
him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish,
and it will be given you.

9 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.

Romans 2:7 To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life.

Threat Of A Staley High School Shooting

2009-12-01T21:15:00.000-08:00

To be honest, I don't know where to start on this. I think I'll give you some of my history. I grew up and lived in Kansas til the end of freshman year in High School... Then, me and mom moved to Kansas City, Missouri and I love my new high school. it's alot different and alot bigger than my old high school...but, .....

To cut to the chase, in Self Development, people were talking about the threat someone had made to shoot the school up. That doesn't make me feel good, nor is that a good way to end the school day on a terrible note. It freaks me out... not for my life, but for their lives... What IF they don't know Jesus? What happens? Who loves them enough to risk their friendships with them by sharing the gospel?

Matthew 10:28
28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

It freaks me out that these teens could be robbed of their life here on earth and that could be caused by a school shooting... Heck, I could even die because of a school shooting. But, 'to live is Christ. to die is gain.' . I have to tell them about Jesus! and so do you.

I told my mom earlier... … she had basically the same response as when I told her about the campus ministry… I told her “I don’t know if I told you, but someone threatend to shoot up Staley.” she said, “Oh, that’s cool.” her tone of voice came across as sarcasm.. which said ‘well, they’re dumb..’ I thought, ‘No! it’s not cool. Was columbine cool?! and No, They’re not dumb. they need Jesus. They’re full of anger and hatred and pain that they don’t know what to do and they do crazy things because it’s eating away at them and they assume that a HS shooting will make them feel better.’

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpBuEuagZxE <-- video embeding was disabled. This video is ; Jeremy Camp - There Will Be A Day - Video DevotionalSomeone’s gotta share Jesus with them… before someone loses their mind and decides to do a high school shooting… I don’t understand it. Greg (ma doesn’t count) is the only one that I’ve told about this… I want to tell more people but I’m scared I’ll get the same reaction from them as mom.oh, and my friend Katie told me that it was supposed to happen the day she found out. I’m grateful it didn’t… but scared that it very well could and lives be robbed from these teenagers...The fact that Staley High was threatened with a shooting, makes me miss Kansas. (The only time I will ever say that I miss KS).We have a message and a mission that we can't keep to ourselves... so, what are you waiting for?!

PLEASE pray for my high school? and pray for those crazy Christian teens who dare to share the BEST message ever on our high school campus(es) in a relational/relentless way? We do appreciate all the prayers and support we have recieved. You guys rock!!

2Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 3And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. 4Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. 5Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 4:2-6

I'm aware that this threat was like close to the beginning of the year, but still, I'm not one known not to take it seriously... just because it hasn't happened doesn't give us any excuse to 100% dismiss it. please pray.

Untitled

2009-11-29T18:02:00.000-08:00

I didn't know whether I should eat dinner or not... the strong feeling of hurting for the lost today, felt like it could kill me. I ate, but, I still can't get the fact out of my head that there are people who don't have a relationship with God and I hate the fact that someone dies every second and most likly ends up in Hell.

Earlier, when I was getting close to the appartment door, another guy across the outside hall, walked out of his appartment, and I almost went to complete tears. Imagining a 'Bound for hell' sign on peoples' forehead, is killer. I don't like the idea of anyone being in eternal seperation from God... as the Bible says "God isn't slow as some understand slowness, but wants everyone to come to repentence.'

Do me a favor, and remember back to the time when you didn't know Jesus personally and think about other people, your friends, your family, your husband or wife in eternal seperation from God... it's not just the hell they're headed to, but the hell they are going through...

Listen to this song by JJ Heller - Love Me. Before you read any further. It tore my heart to shreds! I was in tears after the first few seconds of it..

Love. it's what we all desire and long for! is it not? I ended up in tears! Makes me think of how empty and hopeless people must be feeling when they don't have Jesus. How can they survive? It's like they're trying to breathe without the oxygen to supply the air... they're trying to live life to the fullest, but, they can't do it without the source of life. Jesus said in John 14:6 that He is THE life and in John 10:10 He says that He has come to give us life to the very fullest. Is that not what people want? meaning, purpose, love, hope, joy, peace? Why arent they finding it? Because they are rejecting the source of all these things they are longing for.

think I'll get all emotional and heart broken for those who don't know Jesus!! If I'm heart broken over this, God must feel the worst over it. If God knows everyon, how come everyone doesn't know God? Are we not doing enough? I don't think we are...

I'm soo heart broken for those who don't know Jesus and for those 'christians' who aren't heart broken for those who don't know Jesus.
How can they expect to do anything if they aren't torn for those who don't know Jesus?

He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?"

Ever wonder what people are like at home? I mean, those who don't know Jesus.. when their alone, they must feel hopeless, unloved, so un full of Jesus...etc. What do they go through at home? They come to school in smiles and the next day you find out they killed themselves! What would make someones life that bad, that suicide has to be "the" option of escape? I don't understand it.

People NEED to be loved for who they are. Just love them..like Jesus. He cares for them just as he cares for you.

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would’ve stayed
And she says…

Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

People try to do things in order to make themselves "better" in some way, but they just don't seem satisfied with the results. IF anyone truly loves you, they don't want you to change anything. They love you for you. God loves us not for who we are but for who He is. God has a CRAZY love for all of us..

"But God demonstrated His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that forwhoever belives in Him, shall not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

"...I have come so you may have life and have it to the very fullest." John 10:10

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”

Wow, in Self Development, Mrs. Hiatt said something about the class getting to a prison and talk to the inmates, I hope we can go. I'd love to share Jesus with them and then give them a Bible and tell them to read John. Pray that we get to go!! and pray Collosians 4:4-6

Oh and, tomorrow, during lunch, we're gonna have our first campus ministry "meeting"... its not a meeting, we're just going to exchange stories, pray and share ideas... and talk about THE cause. I printed 20 out for the other people... even though there aren't even 20... there's only like 7 or 8. pray more will join with us in turning staley high upside down for Jesus. Pray Collosians 4:4-6 ;)

P.S Jesus makes me smile! ;) so true... so chessy though. I have a shirt that says that. I got it at a Youth Convention in Branson, Missouri October 0f '08. He did make me smile and cry that weekend!!

Hillsong United was totally shreddin' the gnar on the Youth Convention in October. I think it'd be so cool if they were at a D2S conference before I graduate! It was during HU leading worship, that I fully gave my life to Jesus. ;) That feeling of being ALIVE for the very first time, leaves me speechless and amazed.

'For our God is a consuming fire' - Hebrews 12:29

-Katelyn

Love Them Like Jesus

2009-11-26T17:42:00.000-08:00

I get soo irritated with fake people. Mainly those who call themselves "Christian"... I hate how they treat people. Those who surrond us are so desperate for the love of Christ that I don't even understand it. We are called to love others just as we love ourselves.

MATTHEW 22:39 NKJ
39 "And the second is like it: `You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'

I know I haven't been the best at loving those who happen to be around me.. and in no way am I going to justify that. It's not ok to not love your neighbor... What if their best friend in the entire world just died, and you say they are a jerk? They might snap at you... not always yelling, but they may cry... Why? I don't know, maybe because they still don't understand what just happened and why it was to them.. Whether their friend died, or the one they love is in the hospital in fatal condition... whatever the case, whatever their situation, Jesus' command is pretty clear. Love your neighbor as yourself. Can't make it any clearer than that.

PHILIPPIANS 2:4 NKJ
4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Jesus cares for you, just as He cares for them. Show those around you that you truly care about them and that you love them. It hurts me when people get treated poorly... especially by "Christians".

1 JOHN 3:14 TEV
14 We know that we have left death and come over into life; we know it because we love others. Those who do not love are still under the power of death.

1 JOHN 3:18 TEV
18 My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.

Why don't you love people? You say you love everyone, but your life shows another story. Why in the world would anyone ever want to follow Jesus if your words and actions don't match? They may think that Jesus could very well be like us, having empty promises, leaving hearts broken... etc. Jesus is no where near like that... but we couldn't be farther from just that.

Love them like Jesus. Cut the crap, and get real. No one likes the attitude that fake people have...

If you really love them, you'll watch what you say. Take Ephesians 4:29 seriously. Let others know they are loved. God loves us, not for who we are, but for who He is. I wish people would get to know Him personally for who He is and not for who others think He is. I hate that we judge people and put a label on them and assume it covers their whole personality... did you know it would take over 9 years to read ALL the DNA in one person? One word doesn't define anyone.

My challenge, love them like Jesus. Stop being fake... are you pushing others away from Christ or pushing others towards Him?

1 JOHN 4:7 TEV
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, because love comes from God. Whoever loves is a child of God and knows God.

If you really love your neighbor, the first thing you will do is pray for them. As a human you are limited in how you can help your neighbor, but God is unlimited in how He can help. The greatest thing you can do for your neighbor is seriously pray for them.

God can do more for your neighbor in one minute than you could in a lifetime.

ROMANS 13:10 NKJ
10 Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

SHARE JESUS WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE. (NOT JUST FAMILY AND FRIENDS. RANDOM PEOPLE IN LIKE THE GAS STATION..OR WHEREEVER.) ;)

I gotta be honest...

2009-11-22T17:52:00.000-08:00

I can't do this! I'm trying to start a campus ministry at my high school and from my mom, I get no support. None. notta. nothing. ziltch. el zipo. (spanish? haha) No, seriously, I HATE this! but I also LOVE it.

hate it because, I don't see how I can do this if NO ONE seems to be behind me... :/ I know there are other teenagers who are willing to do this CM with me... but, who stands behind us? Parents? Youth Pastors? Youth Leaders? Other Adults? Where are you guys at? I know there are some, and I thank God for them. What about the verizon guy and the loads of people who tell the guy with the phone that "You're covered"... who's gonna tell us "you're covered"? huh? Will you?

Starting a CM isn't easy, it's hard. I told my mom the other day because I told her I needed to print somethings (okay, under statement of my life.). So she asked why..so I told her it's for a campus ministry I'm trying to start at the high school. What did she say in return? "Oh ok. cool" or something un-supportive along those lines. Not what I need or want to hear. saying 'oh ok. cool.' doesn't tell me you care.

Me and like 10 people are willing to do this. Willing to reach out to the lost, hurting, desperate teens at our high school.... I highly doubt the 'oh ok. cool' saying, will "push" us to go out there and SHRED THE GNAR for Jesus. That saying 'oh ok. cool' SUCKS. never use it again...ever. I mean it!!

Hopefully, we'll get approved and be able to start before January. I get to be the leader of it (awesomeness)!! With me as student leader, we're totally going to the malls (Independence mall and/or the Legends in KCK.) and totally shreddin' the gnar! I'm stoked to the extreme.

I (we teens) NEED people behind us telling us constantly that 'we're covered' and to challenge us and to "push" us like a coach pushes his or her team to go beyond their best on the field or court.

We have a challenge. To reach OUR high school campus with the message and mission of Jesus. Train teens to go and share Jesus...effectivly. Relational && Relentless. In Christ we ARE invincible.

Will you pray for us that we get approved to start a campus ministry? Will you pray the every student, before they graduate, hears about Jesus for who He truly is and not for what people view Him as? Pray for us as we go out the our mission feild and share the greatest ultimate love story ever known to man kind? The love of Christ for everyone. Pray, that I, as a leader of this awesome thing, doesn't loose her mind because she doesn't get support through her family, but that you will support her and tell her 'she's covered'? Pray for EVERY single Christian teenager on their campuses to effectivly share Jesus?! pray that we stay strong in Jesus and never lose heart. Just pray for me will ya? I didn't mention all of the prayer requests, but God knows them all.

How do YOU spend your time?

2009-11-21T19:29:00.000-08:00

How did it make you feel when it got to the average christian? No seriously, the God of the universe, from the average Christian, only gets LESS than ten minutes!? C'MON! If you truly did love Him, like you love your best friend, you're not going to want to spend less than ten minutes with them, are you? If you truly do desire to know God, the best proven way to get to know someone is when YOU spend TIME WITH THEM!! You're never gonna get to know someone if you don't. It's true. So, what's it gonna be? are you gonna sit here and read this blog or go read your bible? THE BIBLE IS THE BEST BOOK EVER!!! I LOVE IT!

We spend SOOO much time doing crap that won't mean a thing at the end of the day, the week, the month, the year....why not spend time with God right now? No, seriously. My blog doesn't mean anything... I just want everyone to know God for who He is and not for what people assume He is.

GOD IS THE BESTEST!! (Not sure if 'bestest' is an "offical" word, but I used it. get over it!) You can't forget another important powerful thing, PRAYER! *love it!* :)

Now, why do I want you to read your Bible?
1. It's THE coolest book!
2. God IS epically awesome to THE extreme!
3. It's a book that I will still be reading by the time I die and see Jesus! *YAY!*
4. Grow in your relationship with JESUS!
5. Nice, peaceful time with the God who created everything
7. cus it's awesome!

(I'm well aware there is no number 6 up there. why? cus that number sucks!)

now, you can comment. but you've gotta read the Bible. and Pray. :)

I Don't Understand.

2009-11-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

God gets treated like crap day in and day out. He gets called some pretty horrible names. Some people don't believe he exists yet they accuse him of the choas in their life. I don't understand how God gets treated like this 24-7 365 can still have a crazy, radical, relentless love for us. I hate how we give the typical response. Go to church, sing songs and try not to cuss... it's annoying. This is God we're talking about here. and that's what we do?

God has a radical, crazy love for us and that's how we respond? If I were God, I'd feel taken for granted and hurt. Yet he chooses to show us some crazy love. He lets us wake up, live, breath, talk, sing, hear, speak, see, walk, etc. And that's how we respond?! C'MON! Get real. I'm quite irritated by this...

if we really, truly love Him our responce should be CRAZY!!

I'm sick 'n tired of fake people. espically when it comes to Christians... we are to share the love and the hope that we have in Christ with gentleness and respect. As I have said before, people who are stuck in lukewarm christianity aren't Christians and in fact, if they didn't believe in God, their life wouldn't look all that different.

I don't think I can stress it enough with you, that you have got to get real. There is no such thing as 'lukewarm christianity'. The Word of God won't allow there to be room for it. See what Jesus says in Revelation 3:15-16:

15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

See? I wasn't lying. It hurts me to know that there are people out there who say they are christians and yet deny Christ with their lives. Jesus clearly said that if you deny me before men, I will deny you before my Father in heaven. (John 10:32-33)

I'm irritated. hurt. and whatever else there is to feel. Irritated because they are claiming to be christians and not acting like the know Jesus personally. Hurt because of the same reason.

The same God who created us to be with Him, the same God who died for us so we can live life to the fullest. (john 10:10) the same God who loves us when we don't love back. This same God is treated like crap daily and would still die so you can live. This isn't how is supposed to be. God loves you and we know that... it just doesn't click with us just yet.

The whole concept of God loving me didn't click for me until October 16-17 2008 in Branson, Missouri at some youth convention. It was while Hillsong United was on stage. It was extremely amazing. That's why I still have my braclet on from then on my right arm. Its gray and says 'Extraordinary'.

Stop going through the motions of life and live for Jesus!

Lukewarm Christianity

2009-11-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

Alright, let me put it this way, I can't stand fake people. I get pretty frustrated with people who refuse to take the words of Jesus seriously and don't even act like they're christians. (all talk. no action) Well, when it comes down to it, they are not christians. In fact, their life wouldn't look too much different if they didn't believe in God.

In the bible, there is no room for lukewarm christianity...look at what Jesus says in Revelation 3:15-16

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

ouch.

Have you ever drank coffee or something that was intended to be hot and you foget you've placed it on the counter. You come back a few hours later to find your drink at room temperture.. You drink it and spit it out. it's nasty... I say that we need to have a passion for Jesus that refuses to go to room (a.k.a world) temperature.

When I said world, I ment that you conform to the patterns of this world when you basically "sit" there and do nothing for God and are in comfortable with it.

Jesus, in Romans 12:2 says;

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

****i will try and finish this tomorrow after school. I gotta go to bed.****

What Do You Do When....

2009-11-02T20:17:00.000-08:00

- Your best friend is pregnant and if her biological dad finds out, he'll kill her and you are scared of losing your best friend?

- Your parents are divorced and it hurts like heck and your mom is obviously missing the entire picture that you HATE it? (see thinks I'm perfectly fine with divorced parents. What?!)

- Your mom is of NOOO support? (spirtually, in school, etc)

- No one'll listen? Alright, so I know that answer. You go to Jesus.

- bordom seems like it'll kill you?

- You want so bad to tell your mom the truth and open her eyes to her teenage daughter but you know you'll go completely shut down the moment she opens her mouth about it and you leave and go to your room or go for a nice walk?

- You want someone to be 'the voice' for you? Someone who'll get behind that 'wall' and actually get somewhere, deeper?

- You close your eyes hoping reality will change and NOTHING happens?

I'm a teenager who has alot of questions. Not sure if that was all of them but it seems pretty close. This is driving me crazy!! )': it hurts sooo much.

Who Even Reads These Anyways?

2009-10-31T20:42:00.000-07:00

No, seriously, who reads any of my blogs? I mean, it's just some teenager venting practically her life out there. To who? I don't know. Why do I even bother? I feel like I'm wasting time. Why do I even do any of this? Is it because of my divorced parents? probably. Is it because of broken relationships with my parents/ practically entire family? probably. Either way, Why am I doing any of this?

I have had ENOUGH with life for awile. No, I'm not suicidil or however the heck ya spell it!! I have had enough with it already. I'm sick 'n tired of public high school. I hate having divorced parents. I'm starting to get bored with Kansas City. I'm scared for my best friend....she's prego and if her biological dad finds out, he will kill her. I hate homework. I want to be homeschooled (online). I want to start a campus ministry but I'm too worried about too much other crap to bother with getting one started. Oh and I'm a daddas' girl livin with mom in Kansas City...

To be honest, I don't even know if I want to even try to get a CM started at my high school... I just don't know anymore. when is enough finally enough? I just wish I could close my eyes and everything would be the way God wants it to be... )':

People (mainly mom) have been SOO oblivious to me that they don't even seem to care. That might have came across wrong... but, what I mean is, well, I don't really know..

Who is even going to read this? I don't think this'll matter to anyone.

I can't really concentrate on/at school because of the things I listed above. How am I supposed to concentrate when I get to school, I'm still the same person.... home situations effect school. I'd like to think teachers knew this and acknowledged it if they did.

I feel like I wasted my time typing that. I'm hurting. bad. Does anyone hear me? :'/ I don't know what to do/ who to go to...what to say....etc. I don't know. anymore. I'm tired and empty. This life is relentless..

Please, tell me why I even bother writing. anything.

online high school? what the heck am I thinking? Who am I fooling? oh yeah, me. great. another thing that'll get flushed down the toilet of 'things NEVER to happen that you always get your hopes up for.' I've been crushed before...

Why? just why?

I don't know...anymore. Why do believe EVERYTHING we read in the newspapers, the magazines, on the internet and yet we question the word of God? )': please pray for me. I don't know what I'm gonna do anymore...

for our "God is a consuming fire." -Hebrews 12:29

I can't quit.

A Dadda's Girl? Still?

2009-10-27T22:11:00.000-07:00

Alright, believe it or not, I am still a dadda's girl. Who said being a dadda's girl was easy when your dad isn't even really there?

I live my mom in Missouri... My dad lives in Kansas. (Yea, they're divorced.)

this post isn't really like the others. But, it is still me doing what I do when I don't have anyone to vent to. It helps me alot and has helped me for a long time. I love writing. It doesn't matter what you put, the piece of paper "listened" to me and didn't judge me... I don't really know.

What I do know is that I need my dad.... ): I could see my dad being more a support than ma is. No offence. but, seriously.

(go to youtube.com and search No One Else Knows - building429)

Why Don't You Share Jesus?

2009-10-27T18:32:00.000-07:00

I can't help but to remember the one time after bible study when we went out on an outreach thing. It was pretty cool. Conversations may not have lasted long. And, well, if they would have, I would have jumped on board and started really talking to these random people. I get irritated and I am also really hurt by the fact that some christians seem to be convinced that Jesus didn't really say to go into the world and preach the message of the gospel. But he did and I'll prove it.

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Matthew 28:19

He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Mark 16:15

Those are the only two that I could find. But, Jesus makes it pretty clear, doesn't he? It's the great commission not the good suggestion.

I remember on that friday night, I asked my mom a question that went something like this: "Aren't you gonna go and talk to anyone?" she said "no" so I asked "why?" she said "cus I don't like talking to people." alright, so I'm a tad irritated and yet hurt. Irritated because Jesus gave us THE Cause. "go and make disciples..." If Jesus gave us a choice, I don't if we'd really do it. We need to take Him and the Bible seriously.

The world needs Jesus. We know that. so why aren't we doing anything to advance THE Cause? Are you bringing Christ up in your day to day conversations? Are you showing the love of Christ that people are in desperate need of? Do you really love Jesus or just His stuff?

Let me ask you this - If you could have heaven, with no pain, no sickness, all the friends you've ever had, all the activities you've ever enjoyed, all the natural beatuies you've ever seen, all the physical pleasures you've ever tasted, and no human conflict, and no natural disasters, could you be trully satisfied with heaven, if Jesus was not there?

I sure couldn't! Jesus is everything to me. It's Christ plus NOTHING equals everything. (I hope you answered the above question with honesty.)

I was irritated with her because I was questioning wether she was taking the words of Jesus seriously. I was hurt because I don't think she has realized the reality of Hell and that the people she knows and loves can be going there if she doesn't get out there and SHRED THE GNAR for Jesus soon. The way she was acting, was like she has 'forever' to share the gospel. *COUGH* *COUGH* WAKE UP! We are not promised our next breath!

She's probably one of those people who are like "well, I don't want to offend them with the gospel." Give me a break! You can't be serious! If they were in the hospital dying of cancer and you had the cure, saying something like "well, I don't want to offend them. If they need help they'll come to me." C'mon! You have the cure, you're gonna tell them "take this so you can live." Why aren't you doing that with Jesus? People need Him so they can truly live. In John 10:10 Jesus says that he has come so we may have life to the fullest. So, give them Jesus and stop acting like that. Hell is real. You're friends aren't dying of cancer, they're dying the worst death ever. It's eternal. There's weeping (crying), wailing (screaming), and gnashing of teeth (grinding of teeth)... sound painful? Imagine listening to that, and you yourself making them, for all eternity?

I don't understand why a God of love would send people there. But, How could a just God not punish sin? He is a just God and a God of love.

---well,got to go. I'll try and finish this later---

Why Don't They See It?

2009-10-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

Don't they see that I'm not happy? Don't they see the pain they have left me with? Isn't it obvious? Is it not in my eyes? Where am I placing this pain? It's all behind my smile. Just look into my eyes and maybe you'll see the pain they have left me with.

The pain of not knowing what to do because you have broken relationships with all of your family...well, it seems like that. I wish I could just close my eyes and the pain would be gone.... forever. Never ever to return.
It hurts. This can't be how it is supposed to be. A teenager who has no parent who seems to act like they REALLY care if you're sharing Jesus or whatever. Why isn't my mom being more a spirtual support for me at home?

Why does it feel like I'm left alone in this? I know that's not true, I know I'm not alone. Something has gotta change....mend this porcelain heart of mine.

Someone said that broken heart would sting at first then make you stronger. I wonder why this pain remains? Where hearts made whole just to brake?

I'm completely SHUT DOWN from my parent. Do they know when to back off?

I've cried while I was writing this... I can't describe the way I feel. I'm irritated yet hurt and confused. I don't know what to do. If I tell them they back off I'll get yelled at.... )':

I really don't know what to do anymore...or, who to go to. I know who I should, but, they've shut me down... alot. )': I feel like this pain is suffecating me. I can't stand it anymore! when will it end? I want to graduate High school and move out of Missouri. Maybe to Colorado? I don't know. But, even then, I'm not so sure if this pain will ever leave... /:

God Loves You!

2009-10-22T15:16:00.000-07:00

How much have you thought about that? No, seriously. GOD LOVES YOU!

----It's crazy if you think about it. The God of the unniverse-- the creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor-- loves us with a radical, unconditional, relentless, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs and try not to cuss.

Whether you've verbalized it yet or not....we all know something is wrong.

Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungary for an authentic faith that adresses the problems of out world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you into a passionate relationship with Him. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of do's and don'ts-- it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, you will never be the same again.

Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything.---
(From the back of the book 'Crazy Love; Overwhelmed by a relentless God' by Francis Chan) <--you really need to get his book. for real!

In Branson, Missouri in October 16th-17th of 2008 is when it actually finally clicked with me that the God of the universe LOVES ME! What did I do for Him to love me? Nothing! What does your child have to do for you to love them? When their born, you LOVE them. Why? Because they are YOURS! They shouldn't have to do anything for you to love them. You just love them.

I grew up in church and was told I was a Christian...so I didn't question if I truly was a Christian. I might have said 'I love Jesus' but that talk was really fake til the night of October 16th 2008. There and then while Hillsong United was on stage, I for the first time felt that being a Christian is a relationship with Jesus Christ. Doesn't matter how many times I was told it was a relationship.... I didn't feel that it really was til that one night.

If I told you that life can become more than you could ever imagine today, would you believe me? It's true. Life became REAL. that night in Branson. I felt ALIVE that night for the first time ever. When you truly have Jesus and are in a passionate relationship with Him, you feel alive... because after all, Jesus did come so that you may have life to the very fullest.

and people wonder why I love Hillsong United so much [:

"I Love You"

2009-10-12T19:13:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you how many times those three words have been emptied of their meaning. Maybe for some people, they have heard it so many times from people who should be showing that they love them. But, all that those people do is just seem like a house guest instead of an active member of the family. This is not meant to bash or hurt anyone. I'm going to share with you something from my life. note: it's not intended to hurt anyone... I love you guys [:

See, my dad was there but he was never there like a daughter needs her dad to be there for her. I don't know what it's like to have a father in your life. Mine, never went to any of my school music performances when we had them. In elementary I always asked him to come. And? I always got the 'I have to work in the morning' or the 'I'm too tired' excuse. I asked til 5th grade and then I gave up. But, in 8th I asked. Well, no, I had my mom do it for me. Why? I've been rejected so many stinkin' times. I didn't want to look rejection straight in the face again. He was asked two weeks in advance. Guess what the excuse was? Yep. 'I have to work that night.' I think I found that out the night before the performance.

I know he wasn't doing this because he didn't want to go, he was doing it because his dad was never there for him... Let me say this, when he is at work, he is amazing at what he does. He works at Sams Club in the electronic area. His area is always clean and nice and put together.

I remember one (this was only once) time when he CLEANED the HOUSE. and dang, that guy can clean! it looked freakin good!! I remember when he cooked too, that was really good. I bet I can tell you why he's never done them again. He doesn't get the encouragement that he needs to build up that self-esteem. Don't get me wrong here, I do love him alot and he still needs to know and to feel the overwhelming love, joy, peace, hope that only comes through Christ Jesus.

I start to hurt when people talk about how awesome their dad is and how they spend so much time together or whatever. I wish me and my dad were like that. Will it ever change? Will I ever have the earthly father in my life that I need? I need answers! Now! I believe it can change, but, I have to work at building a relationship with my dad. fast.

I never have liked fathers day. I bet you can guess why too. Well, I'd like it alot better if me and my dad actually did father-daughter stuff. I guess it hurts me and I get upset and irritated with the ones that I love because I want things to be different. This isn't how it was meant to be. is it?

I can't recall how many times I have heard those words 'I Love You' and felt like they had no meaning. The only time I felt that those words had meaning was in Branson,Missouri at a youth convention and it finally clicked with me that the God that created everything has a relentless love for me. I often find myself wondering what do those words even mean anymore? What does it mean to truly love someone? Do you give your life for them so they can live? That's what Jesus did for us. I know he loves us because he proved to us what true love is on the cross.

Romans 5:8 says;
"God demonstrated His own LOVE for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

That is the greatest love story ever told. God loves us and proved that to us on the cross.

Often times I find myself placing the "love" I've felt or haven't felt, on God. Like the love I didn't get from my dad I'd place that on God and assume that's how He must feel too. I know that's not true. God's love is crazy, self-sacrificing, radical, and relentless.

If you're fatherless like me, you know how I feel. I know alot of teen girls, maybe guys i don't know, have felt so empty and haven't gotten the love they deserve from their dad at home have gone out and look for that love. They won't find it. It's a love that only a father can give their child. Kids need that love and structure and family time in their lives.

I didn't have that love, structure or family time. If it was there, it was obviously not very strong. I wasn't raised in a family that ate together, I wasn't taught to have table manners and my grandparents have yelled at me for not doing something right at the table. HELLO? I wasn't raised with any, out off all people they should know this.

I don't feel the pressure to date either. It never comes to mind. it's another distraction. I'm perfectly fine single. I'd rather improve my relationship with Jesus before I have a boyfriend. I have high expectations for them too. Which is good. I'm picky about who I'll allow myself to date. Sorry guys, this girl isn't dating any time soon!! I love my Jesus and my family and friends.

I'm awed by God's love for me.

PSALM 68:5
"....Father to the fatherless...."

Continued read: No One Else Knows (just scroll down and you'll find it. eventually)

My Jesus!

2009-10-05T15:10:00.000-07:00

I get irritated with myself when I don't bring God up in the conversation with the person that I'm talking to. I have no idea why don't I just do it? I know that's the case. Just do it and let God handle the rest. I know these people need hope, love, joy, peace...etc that only comes from the gospel.

Today, earlier on the bus, I realized that I wasn't showing them the love of Christ the way that I should be doing. I know I hurt for them, but why am I not doing anything? Why am I acting like them?

It's cold outside
Or is that just the chill I feel inside from standing here
Steeping in my shame
I can't deny
I'm surrounded by the very thing You freed me from
That's why I can't come home

Chorus:
I don't know where I turned around
From chasing what I always found completed me
More than I could dream
I don't know why I can't remain
Safe here where I always came to meet with you
And You always met with me
And You're still here waiting

I fail to see
Why You'd still be waiting to forgive me
After all that I have done
But I cannot say
That one time I returned and You had turned away
Your love never fails
(My Jesus - Todd Agnew)

I read something in this book called 'Living For Jesus Beyond The Spiritual High' by Greg Speck. In one of the chapters, this is what it said: (It's quite convicting for me now)

----BOOK SOURCE: Living For Jesus: Beyond The Spiritual High by Greg Speck----

"11And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. 13I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life."

Not only does your friend's begin anew, but he or she also can look forward to eternal life in heaven.

Why don't you tell your friends about Jesus?

"I don't want to offend them. Who am I to shove the gospel down their throats? If they want answers they'll come to me. They know what they are doing."

Give me a break! If you're friends were dying of cancer and you had the cure, would you say, "I don't want to offend them. Who am I to push a cure down their throats? If they want answers, they'll come to me? They must like dying!" That would be stupid. You would say, "Do this, and you can live."

Actually your friends are dying a much worse death than cancer because it's a spiritual death. You have the cure, but you hide it because you think it's too offensive.

You need to love your friends enough to risk your relationship with them. Say to them, "Even though you hate me, make fun of me, or think I'm a loser, I love you too much to see you go to hell, so I'm going to tell you about Jesus Christ."

Do you love Jesus Christ? You can't love someone and be ashamed of Him at the same time.

Imagine being out with someone you love very much. They pick you up, and while you're in the car together, they tell you how much they love you. But you pull up to a stoplight, and they see some of their friends on the corner.

To you: Get down, quick. Get your head under the dash.
To friends: Hi. No one else in the car. Just me.
To you: Stay down. They might see you. No, don't look up.
To friends: What's that hair? Oh, Uh, it's my dog. (They pet the back of your head.) Yeah! It's my dog.

The light changes, they drive off, and then say to you, "I love you so much."
You would say, "You don't love me at all." Why not? Because you can't love someone and be ashamed of them at the same time. We'd be insulted if anyone treated us like that, but that's exactly how we treat God sometimes.

At church, retreats, camps and conferences we tell God how much we love Him, but when we get to school we want Him as far away as possible.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To be honest, when I first read that, It was quite convicting. I don't about you, but I don't want to treat God like that anymore ever. If we'd feel insulted if someone did that to us, imagine how God must feel when we treat Him that way.

I'm even convicted of doing what I added at the end there. Jesus said in Matt 10:32-33 "Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. 33 But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven. NKJV

wow. Matt 16:24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.

The key is to publicly confess to others that “Jesus is my Lord and Savior,” and believe that God raised Him from the dead. The Bible says:

Rom 10:9-11: 9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. NKJV

John 12:42-43 Nevertheless even among the rulers many believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they did not confess Him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue; 43 for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God. NKJV

1 John 4:1-3; 2 By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, 3 and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world. NKJV

2 John 7-8; For many deceivers have gone out into the world who do not confess Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist. 8 Look to yourselves, that we do not lose those things we worked for, but that we may receive a full reward. NKJV

On the bus, I was getting frustrated because of these teenagers foul mouths. My facebook status read, "oh my goodness. these foul mouthed teens are driving me crazy. ugh :/ Jesus, help me reach them with the greatest news ever."

I do need help on showing them the love of Christ better than I am. I need the boldness to stand up for Christ and stand firm in my faith. Please, it's not too much to ask of you, please pray for me.

I'm trying to start Youth Alive at my high school and I'm kind of freaking out. Like what in the stinkin world am I getting myself into?! this is crazy. I need the mixture of a lion and a lamb when I share the greatest message ever with this lost world who needs Jesus. I need His help in making me more like Him.

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand (Voice Of Truth - Casting Crowns)

Being one of the new kids at my high school I have some what made "friends"... I need to share Jesus with these people. Like what Matt said to me the other day about we never know that this day could very well be our last day. Some one could die and go to hell because I didn't share Jesus with them. It's a scary thought, but, sadly true. I mean what if it really was my last shot to share Jesus with them...and what if that conversation changed their eternal destiny?

the school campus grounds is one heck of a mission field. But, I'm willing to SHRED THE GNAR and go all out for Jesus and stop at nothing.

Til the WHOLE world hears [: THE Cause is my goal!!

"It's Your Life" by Francesca Battistelli

2009-10-01T16:19:00.000-07:00

I'd say that once you tell people that you're a Christian, they watch you like CRAZY. They know how a Christian is supposed to act... So, I'm sick 'n tired of phony Christians. They are conforming to the patterns of this world. And in Romans 12:2 it says:

2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

At church on wednesday night, some of the 'christians' were cussing... not how a Christian should be acting at all. This world doesn't need cold-hearted Christians. The world needs warm-hearted Christians who will share the gospel with their friends, strangers, etc. and show them the love of Christ.

12Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13but he who stands firm to the end will be saved (Matthew 24:12-13)

I don't know why no one's is correcting these people and getting them back on the right path.

1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load. Galations 6

Rebellious?

2009-09-29T19:10:00.000-07:00

Why, when we hear the word 'rebellious' we think of someone whose doing drugs, drinking, rebelling against authority etc?

Here's my question, is that really rebellion? How's it rebellion if everyone seems to be doing it?

If you do do drugs, drink, disobey etc are you not a rebel but a conformist?
Doing those things that's called sin...

Ya know Jesus was a rebel. Christ rebelled by shunning the culture. He ate with sinners. Talked with a Samaritan woman (John 4)
I know in our day, rebel means sinner. But everyone is sinning so it's no longer rebellious to sin. Jesus was a rebel who was counter culture. So, if you're following what this world is doing, you're not a 'rebel' but instead you're a conformist.

2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind... (Romans 12:2)

What does that mean anyway?
It means stop doing what this world says what you 'should' be doing, because, supposedly, that's what 'everyone' is doing. Stop acting like the world and start acting Christ-like.

1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.[a] 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be partners with them.

8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
"Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."

15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

How exactly does doing drugs, drinking, disobeying etc make you not a rebel but a conformist? It makes you a conformist because those are sins...and everyone is carrying on Adam and Eve's sinful legacy...

The only thing that falls under the worlds deffinition of rebellion, is when Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden... think about it.

If you want to be a rebel, read your bible. 'cause no one seems to be doing that.

Love?

2009-09-24T17:41:00.000-07:00

While I'm sitting in the cafeteria at my high school the song 'My Jesus' by Todd Agnew was playing on my mp3 player. At that moment I felt convicted because I was judging people's personalities based soley on their looks. And when Todd started singing these words that I'm going to put down here, I felt bad for doing that. Because God has a crazy, self-sacrificing, relentless love for them and I was judging them. So here is what he sang...

Which Jesus do you follow,
Which Jesus do you serve
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ,
Why do you look so much like the world

Cause My Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars,
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
or do we pray to blessed with with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sands

Judging people is such a worldly thing. My God, My God, help me to show them the love of Christ more and more everyday. Shape me into the image of your Son. Amen.
I don't know what these people have gone through, but I do know this; They NEED Jesus!! Now. And, as Christians, it is our God-given duty to be burning bright with such an overwhelming passion for Jesus that people will wonder what we have within us and then, we get to share the greatest message of all time. The gospel.

Who is this that You follow,
This picture of the American dream,
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side,
Or fall down and worship at His holy feet
holy
Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion,
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins,
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part,
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

My Jesus bled and died He spent His time with thieves and the least of
these,
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable,
So which one do you want to be,
Cause
My Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet,
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
And,
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus
I want to be like my Jesus

I don't know what else to say except that God is the best ever. So, I challenge you, in the next 48 hours, to share with someone, I don't care who, the gospel of Jesus Christ. Go and SHRED THE GNAR!!! (means go big or go home)

Lord, I pray for strength for all of us students on our campuses. Just give us the strength to stand up and live for You. Let us be the light in this darkness. Here we are Lord, take us and use us for Your glory. Give us the words to speak and the actions to show the other students. I pray that You would help us raise up a generation of people who seek your face in all that we do and help us to not be ashamed of You. Lord, I want to thank you for it in Jesus name, Amen.

Status Quo

2009-09-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

So, as I'm listening to the song Brave by Nicole Nordeman, I think of this one girl at my old school who was wearing this shirt that said 'Status Quo' and it made me think about how many people actually attempt to reach something that the people who make it can't even reach it. Like in magazines, they're totally photoshopped. Those people who are in there don't even look like that. annoying.

But, seriously, it's unrealistic. Oh and the other day at school in Self Development, we watched this video of these teens who are from different cliques...if you've seen The Breakfast Club you know what I mean. And at one point they went to this place where they met a model and were shown how they do the pictures... photoshop. I remember seeing the one girl who was in there just cry. It made me mad more than anything. But, I was also hurt. Mad because they're ripping people off and sad because we're buying it.

Look this way, act, talk, think...etc. this way. It's the complete opposite of what the Bible says. In 1 Corinthians 14:20: "Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults." (NIV) Our culture says, "Be mature in evil, but in your thinking and behaviour be childish."

This just makes me think of the song More Beautiful You by Jonny Diaz... oh and if you're a lady join the group More Beautiful You (Ladies Only) on facebook.

My laptop is being a pain, so I'll go. blehk, I hate technology!

No One Else Knows...

2009-09-06T21:12:00.000-07:00

As I listen to this song by Building 429, I can't help but to think of how my family acts when they ever-s0-easy bring up the topic of divorce. Something you should know, my parents have been divorced since May 8th 2009. They talk as if it doesn't phase them one bit, while I'm over there with them trying oh so hard to distract myself from it. In my mind, I'm hoping they'll ask how I'm handling it. It hardly ever happens. I just don't get how they can act like everything is a-okay and NOTHING happen. Um, hello? My family fell apart and this is how they choose to respond? It hurts me, I just don't understand how they can act like that and assume that's how I feel too. If only they knew that I've cried myself to sleep because I'm sooo hurt by this.

As a teenage girl, having broken relationships with family isn't good nor is it easy. I hate having a broken relationship with both parents. As if it weren't bad enough that my parents are divorced. The divorce seems to have hit me the hardest out of mom and kayce. I think it hurts my dad too. I'd like to think that we all went through it, but I'm convinced I'm wrong on that one.

I know in the past I've said that my parents need to get a divorce...if I knew how much pain and sleepless nights it would've caused, I wouldn't have said it. I knew somewhere in me that I didn't want that to happen. I, honestly, just wanted things to change. Well, they did. Alot. Now, my parents are divorced, I live with my mom in North Kansas City, Missouri, and I go to a new school...

Handling this is obviously not easy for me nor for anyone else who has gone through this and has actually felt that emense pain that it places on you. My mom, countless number of times, told me, and I quote "I know how you feel," and I'm thinking 'YOU LIAR!! You're parents are together still. and isn't 'I know how you feel' a statement saying you've been there?' and then after saying "I know how you feel,' she says, "I'd be hurt too IF my parents got a divorce." Um, did you notice the contradiction too?

Just thinking of how other teens handle this without Jesus, hurts me so much. I don't understand how they get through it without Him.. I have every single right to say "I know how you feel. because my parents actually got a divorce when I was a freshman in High School. It brakes my heart." My mom shouldn't say that, she has no right to. She is clueless on how I feel.

No idea of how it feels when the people whom you are supposed to look up to and never leave you, end up being the ones who do. And where/who do you go to from there? Who helps you through things that you don't understand why they had to happen to you?

The people who have meant the most seem to have been those who have left. When I was younger, I remember when my dad took me over to his parents house so they could watch me, I remember when he was supposed to leave to go to work, I wrapped my tiny arms around his neck and would not let go for anything. I hated it at his parents house. They were VERY boring for a 4-6 year old something kid to have to be around. And then when we would leave, I'd tell my mom how boring it was and we didn't get to do anything. Oh, and when my mom would take me, I screamed bloody murder...so she told me. I guess I really did hate it there.

I know that I'm not the only one who has felt pain like this. All over the world divorce happens. And I have realized that there is “someone” in my life that will never leave me nor forsake me. && no matter what, this “someone” will always love me and will never hurt me. This “someone” actually loves me even when I don’t love back. This "someone" knows all my faults, and still loves me. This "someone" doesn’t just give me broken promises, or empty words about love, but actually died to prove true love to me. This “someone” is Jesus. I love my Jesus

Not listening...again

2009-08-27T21:29:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I have a huge problem with people who just don't listen to me. I know I don't always like to listen to people either. I know I said 'I'll do it... today' and I guess I completly forgot about how hard that really is. And my conclusion? I can't do it myself. I need help, bad. I'm still learning when to shut it and what not to say. It's not that I'm trying to be mean to people, I'm not exactly quite sure what it is.

Maybe me feeling like I'm not being heard, is because I, sometimes, completly dismiss what the other person is saying to me in the assumption that what they are saying has nothing to pertain to me. I, honestly, like to think I know what's best for me and God doesn't. But, what I think is 'best' for me, is going to leave me hurt and wondering why. I'm proved wrong and God does know and I don't. I'm not the 'best' listener there is and I'd have to say the best listener there is and ever will be, is Jesus.

I'm trying to forgive, love, and share Jesus with others more often than I do.

I really don't know what else to say, except I really do need to do it today. Maybe we say 'I'll do it...tomorrow' because we assume that we have "enough" on our 'agenda' for one day. Maybe we're looking at it through dirty glasses and waste soo much of our time doing pointless crap that won't live past this day.

I've learned that by saying 'I'll do it...tomorrow' I hardly ever get done with what I planned for the next day.

So I will try to shut up and listen, I mean really really truly be in tuned with what the other person is saying.

It'll be hard, but if I, as I say I do, really truly want people to listen to me, I should listen to them.

wow

2009-08-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

Today in Self Development, Mrs. Hiatt gave us all note cards and told us NOT to write our names on it and to put If You Really Knew Me..you'd know that I.. and when she read them aloud, I was shocked a little. What I truly have not understood is how in the world do these teenagers get through all of this without Jesus...I just don't get it. It has to be alot harder without Jesus. These teens have went through parents divorce, thoughts of suicide, abusive fathers...etc. I was hurting for my generation. My generation NEEDS Jesus!!

Being one of the new kids at my high school I have some what made "friends"... I need to share Jesus with these people. Like what Matt said to me the other day about we never know that this day could very well be our last day. Some one could die and go to hell because I didn't share Jesus with them. It's a scary thought, but, sadly true. I mean what if it really was my last shot to share Jesus with them...and what if that conversation changed their eternal destiny?

We Have So Much. They Have So Little.

2009-08-23T20:17:00.000-07:00

Along time ago, I got an e-mail from someone and in it were pictures of children with shoes like this...

While I was looking at the e-mail, I was glad the kid had a pair of shoes. But, what really got to me, is that these aren't shoes! They're water bottles! And I got to really thinking, that we, as people who live in th united states take way to much for granted. It's not hard to see that this world is greatly imbalanced. We are far to great of a country to not help these people. The Bible is dead on right when it says it is more blessed to give than to recieve. (Acts 20:35)

Day to day, week to week, I take things and especially people in my life for granted. Like my blog post a few days ago title 'I'll Do It..Tomorrow', I really need to work on not taking people for granted. I never know that when they walk out that door and I never see them again. They could get hit by some stupid driver who could care less about what they are doing.

I just found a picture on google of a young boy who looked like a teenager or pre-teen in search of food. I couldn't post it because this thing wouldn't let me. But, we take so much for granted. Like shoes, socks, bed, house, car, technology, cell phones, friends, family, pants, shirts, jewelry. It's too easy to take things for granted these days.

a challenge for not just you, but for me also. Treat people better, treat things better, cherish more moments. Starting, now.

I'll do it...TODAY!

I'll end this with a video from Hillsong United that I found on youtube:

NEW school prayer written by a teenager from Ohio

2009-08-23T15:30:00.000-07:00

Since the Pledge of Allegiance & The Lords Prayer are not allowed in achools anymore, because the word ‘God’ is mentioned… A teen in Ohio wrote this….

NEW School prayer:

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God’s name is prohibited by the state.

We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks..
They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King.
It’s ‘inappropriate’ to teach right from wrong,
We’re taught that such ‘judgments’ do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen

I'll Do It...Tomorrow

2009-08-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

How many times a day do you say something along the lines of 'I'll do it...tomorrow'? I'm guilty, I say that alot and I know you are too.

I use some examples that people use alot:
1. I'll treat them better...tomorrow
2. I'll say I'm sorry...tomorrow
3. I'll forgive...tomorrow
4. I'll read it...tomorrow
5. I'll accept Jesus...tomorrow
6. I'll say 'I love you' and I'll mean it...tomorrow
7. I'll share Jesus with her...tomorrow

You should get the point by now. I'm going to be completly honest with all of you, I'm guilty of all of them. There is no such thing as a tomorrow.

I wasn't planning on writing any of this, but a huge thanks goes to my friend, Matt. He said something that hit a home run on my heart.
He said:

'I just realized something. This could be the last time that I ever talk with you. Jesus could come back at any moment, there is no way of telling. And we don't know when, it could be a few minutes, a day or a year, I don't know.'

And you know, Matt is completly right. We don't know when Jesus will come back. We don't if it could be our last time to see our families, our friends our peers, our co-workers...etc. I'm really guilty when I typed the seventh one... I say that too much. What he said was an 'eye-opening' statement. I take life and the people in my life for granted too much. Of course I know life here on earth can and will end for everyone... I need to take it alot more serious than I do.

What he said was convicting because I don't always treat people the way they should be treated. I disrespect my parent(s)/grandparents, I haven't (and I know you haven't either, don't lie) quite learned when to shut up. Honestly, things should not be this way. There is something/someone, the key piece to lifes' puzzle is missing. I think it's Jesus.

I know I need to treat people better than I do and I know you do too. Everyone (whether you want to openly admit it or not) is still learning when to shut it. I have got to stop saying 'I'll do it...tomorrow' and start saying 'I'll do it...today' Because, as I said before, there really is no tomorrow. We are not promised our next breath. Our lives are here and then they're gone. Like a vapor in the wind.

We tell ourselves and others, 'Don't take life for granted, you never know when it'll be gone.' And far too often that's all we do. The way we live, act, talk and treat people, we should be ashamed! And then we turn right around and say 'don't take life for granted...' We live as if life has no end on earth. Although, we are all well aware that it will end for everyone...there is no exception to that one.

Just even intensly deeply thinking and pondering about what Matt said, kind of freaks me out. Matt is my best guy friend and he managed to hit a home run with that statement.

If I've treated any of you badly in my 15 years of life, I'm really sorry. I do love you although I don't show it when I most likly should. I'm sorry what ever I did that hurt you in any way shape or form. Will you forgive me? Can we start over, somehow someway?

I'll love you and treat you better from now on..well, atleast I will try. It will take time so bare with me and help me out on this one.

I'll do it...today!

Ending this blog with the song One Life To Love by 33Miles from Youtube:

Untitled

2009-08-20T00:59:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those days where you feel like no one knows you exist? Have you ever thought that maybe you are making yourself go unnoticed? Like you're not doing anything to get noticed because you feel too hurt to bring yourself back to being noticed. Jesus notices you. He thinks about you each day. He knows what you are going through, he knows how you feel. He knows. It's hard for us to grasp the concept that God does care and He is calling you by name and telling you its alright. He will never leave you nor forsake you. No matter what you do. He loves you.

He wants you to love him too. With Christ in our lives, what can we not do? It's great to know him personally and spend time in his word and in His prescene. So comforting. It's also comforting to know that when we call on his name, he rushes in to us. I remember, two months ago, I had the worst day ever, I woke up and felt extremely broken and empty. I didn't go to school that day, too down to concentrate on anything except for the fact that I had a vast emptiness and I knew that only God could make me feel better. I recall falling to my knees, and screaming out "God!" I had tears running down my face. I felt something inside of me, I dont what it was, I remember having this feeling inside of me that had to have been from God. That feeling said 'I'm here' I still had the tears, I remember saying God over and over. And then I heard these exact words, "Get up, My Child" four words had so much comfort to them. I'm so glad they came from God. I love him to bits! He made me a new creation through Christ. I don't care what people say or do to me, I will not loose my faith. People have and will continue to be mean towards Christians. We were warned by Jesus that the world will hate us, but we must remember that it hated Jesus first.You're probably wondering what inspired to me to write this. Well, earlier today, my grandma was messing with my hair without asking. she did this twice.

made me so mad at her. she didnt understand why i hate people touching my hair without asking. It also upset me too. And when I got in my grandpas' pt, he didnt understand either.... he said get over it. thats easier said than done. I gave up on the topic, and refused to say anything. I felt unnoticed. I dont know how to explain it. I cant let satan have anything of mine. I must not loose faith or anything else required to complete this madness of life... I can't wait to see Jesus face to face. I want to leave this world when ever he calls me home. (: I love my Jesus! I never thought that I, out of all people, would say those words

......It Was Amazing......

2009-08-20T00:58:00.000-07:00

It was amazing that I wasn't rejected this time by my Dad! On Friday night April something, I wrote a three page letter to my dad...it was completly filled with Jesus... none of it was the 'you message' people tend to give. I said how Jesus changes lives. I mentioned how Jesus changed my life in October last year. (read my testimony on 1m4jc.com or on here)

I gave an example using the parachute story relating to how we are,well, basically doomed without Christ. Parachute example: Say a guy, was on a plane and someone told him that he needed the parachute. No one cared to explain exactly why he needed the parachute. He wasn't told how far he was off the ground either. When you tell him he needs the parachute, we, tend to just tell people what they need and think we covered all of that which needs to be covered. We think that people should be smart enough to figure out why in the world they would need the parachute..but some people are just, well, not. This guy was getting mocked and laughed at and people where throwing things at him. So, he decides to take the parachute off, and jumps out of the plane. Not a very smart guy. I know you know how he died...Another guy that was on the plane, He, also was told he needed the parachute. This time someone told him in complete detail what will happen to him if he takes it before he has to jump. Lets say he was twenty five thousand feet in the air... He, also, was being mocked and laughed at and no matter what people did or said to him, he would not take that parachute off. He trusted it, and without it, he was going to die. No one wants to die, that is our God given right to live. Now, think about how that relates to Christianity and how we get mocked and laughed at for believing in something we can't even see. But, "Faith is being sure of what we hope for, it is being certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1)

I also gave a list of songs that I knew would help him, if he chooses to listen to them. I think the song Hold On-33 Miles and Hold Fast-MercyMe where on there... that wasn't apart of my letter. it was on a different sheet of paper. As soon as I got there and saw him, satan went to work... he placed the thought of rejection and fear into my mind. I thought, I didn't come this far to walk away now. I said, quietly, "God! Help Me!" he did. You wanna know why, BECAUSE I DID NOT GET REJECTED!!!! Before I gave my dad the box, I couldn't speak... I had tears starting to build... so, i had to walk away. I knew I couldn't leave just yet. I hugged him three times. He has my cell number now, I don't have his yet. Before today, I haven't seen him since like august last year. But, I saw him April 15th, 2009!!! I'll get his number eventually... (: I refuse to give up.

With Christ in my life,what can I not do?'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.' (Philippians 4:13) I put my Bible in the box too..I had ALOT of things high lighted already. :)

I Am Yours

2009-08-20T00:53:00.000-07:00

written June 11,2009
Who Am I-Casting Crowns

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.
Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Tonight, at church when people went to the alter they played the song Who Am I by Casting Crowns. God gave me the reminder that I often need whether I know it or not, that I am His. Oh, how often we need that reminder! It made me cry when I heard that song. I absolutly love that song along with 5000 other really good Christian songs. But, that's not my point here. My point is, is that we are Gods...and we need that reminder daily, hourly maybe minutely.... I was somewhat kidding about the minutely!! Well, I haven't told anyone about my parents and the divorce and that it hurts. alot. I know there is nothing I can do about the fact that my parents are officialy divorced. They have been divorced for a month and two days. And it hasn't gotten any easier. It sucks. I may have been fatherless as a child. But, here's something I love; "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling" -Psalm 68:5A father to the fatherless is simply amazing. If I never knew Jesus, I would be searching for this Jesus and failing at every turn I'd take. I honestly could not tell you where I'd be if I didn't know Jesus because honestly, I don't want to know, ever. I can tell you where I was and that I'm not there anymore because I found this Jesus in Branson, Missouri at a youth convention in October of '08. I could not tell you what I felt but I can tell you who I felt more than ever, that "who" is JESUS! I remember it like it was yesterday. I know where I was standing and what song Hillsong United was playing. The song was From The Inside Out. Jesus changed me from the inside out. And it shows!!!It doesn't matter what I go through, how I see the circumstances is all about a choice. I can stay here and tell you over and over again how much it sucks that my parents are not together anymore and I can tell you alot of things you probably don't care about...but, I'm not going to. I will say this, and it's a quote, "I can not say I believe. I know! I have been gripped by something far stronger than myself. --something people call God."Here's my question to you;Do you know Jesus? Even if you were the only person on earth, Jesus would have still gone to the cross for you. That's how much He loves YOU. I don't know about you, but 'I love you' could never have been said a better way. On that cross He gave all He had for YOU. You must be pretty dang special! In fact you are special and you are loved and there is hope for you still. It's pretty Good News...in fact, the Gospel means Good News..because it is good news. Its actually great news. Think about it.God loves you. The God of the universe loves YOU. It's crazy love! Go to www.crazylovebook.com and click on videos and then click on 'Just Stop and Think' that video was a tear jerker for me!! I recommend getting the Crazy Love book...It should be at wal-mart or the nearest Christian book store.

Jesus Loves YOU...amazing? pretty much [:

Jeremiah 29:11,
Katelyn Marissa

My Best Friend

2009-08-19T23:12:00.001-07:00

I was (and still am) spending time with my first bestest friend in the entire universe. His name is Jesus. Well, I went to the bathroom and I come back in my room and the song "Word of God Speak" I got to thinking that I play christian music alot... Sometimes I just 'hear' it as a background noise but I don't listen to what the song is really saying. I guess when I said the way I write (most of my writings are still on http://katelynmarissa.webs.com And i havent moved them yet.) makes me pay attention to the lyrics, i lied...well, the way I write kinda forces me to listen to the lyrics. I listen to the lyrics the first time and then don't really pay that much of anything to it. I don't know why that song that was playing made me think and cry a little, but it did. Im glad it did. I love Jesus Anyways, pray I get more than enough sleep tonight. I have to get up at 6:30 a.m school starts at 7:25 its crazy! So, night night to whoever is reading this.Pray that I will spend more time with Jesus. I pray that you will too, spend time with him. He's the best ever.Romans 11:1,Katelyn marissaP.S I was actually was trying to send this at like 2 a.m-ish but it didn't show, so I had to send it from my cell again.